


Don't Save Me

by lithium223



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2017-11-28 01:06:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 43,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lithium223/pseuds/lithium223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jazz is revived and Prowl is no longer Barricade, but how will Jazz react to the consequences of Prowl's time as a Decepticon? And will Bumblebee find something or someone to ease his loneliness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -thinking-

The clanking of metal feet is heard as the Decepticon paces the room. The only light is the ominous glow of its blood red optics. Soon the pacing is replaced with laughter. Cold, sadistic, lacking all traces of warmth or joy, the 'con's body shakes with the force of it; from its doorwings to its feet it laughs. It finds bubbling glee in the irony of the situation. Barricade, its leader, its master, its commander, its creator has fled.

The laughing stopped only to be renewed as the con recalled the reason for Barricade's desertion. Soundwave made a miscalculation. Intelligent, cruel, emotionless Soundwave made a mistake. Traces of him were still in Barricade's processors and spark. By some unknown power or force of will, Barricade remembered what he was and left. Did no one see this coming? Were there no plans to stop one from deserting the cause, just by running away? Now Barricade was probably on his way to find the Autobots and beg for their forgiveness. What a fool. But now the laughing has stopped, because the seriousness of the situation has sunk in.

_-Without Barricade my own existence is threatened. Only Megatron knows what I really am. He's sure to punish me Barricade's betrayal.-_

Oh yes. Megatron was furious that Barricade recovered his original self. He already beaten Starscream _and_ Soundwave for it and struck any Decepticon that dared to look at him. It was only a matter of time before he remembered Barricade's creation. And the punishment was already clear.

_\- If I'm not killed, I'll be reduced to a breeding whore after this. No femme has survived popping out more than eight brats and I refuse to sink that low.-_

A hiss escaped her as she ran scenarios through her battle computer. The best option was to leave base and hide. With the skills of an assassin that wouldn't be hard, but there was the problem of getting enough energon and what would happen if she was ever found.

Barricade may have been a fool, but now she had to pay the price.

* * *

Inside the NEST base, Optimus Prime was headed towards the medbay. With his dim optics and dull paintjob it was obvious that the Autobot leader was exhausted. Optimus vented air out of his intakes. He knew Ratchet would probably tear him a new one, but with all the meetings with government officials and all but stomping Galloway into pasty goo, there was little time to relax.

He sympathized with the humans' fear of more of them, but why can't they just let his team enjoy the return of two good comrades? Prime had just decided to let it go. After all it wasn't every day a mech could be brought back from the dead. Sam's idea of using the Matrix the resurrect Jazz was brilliant and the results were better.

With his body rebuilt, Jazz was almost the same bot he was before his death. The only difference was he was happy.

Two weeks after Jazz was brought online, Prowl came to the base, begging to see him. Now the two were reunited and Jazz couldn't be happier. Optimus chuckled to himself as he recalled the look of pure shock and utter joy on Jazz's face as Prowl was led into the base. The last time Jazz was this elated was back before Prowl's capture and reformat into Barricade. Now Ratchet was removing all the body attachments of Barricade and Prowl would look like himself again. Not even Galloway's whining could ruin that.

Optimus stopped outside the medbay doors and pressed the buzzer. A gruff 'come in' was heard and he entered. The first thing Optimus saw after opening the doors was a pile of armor and wires on the ground.

"It's done. Barricade is officially Prowl again. Although I couldn't fully remove the 'punish and enslave' detailing. I did change it though".

Chuckling, Optimus turned to look at the medic. "You seem pleased with yourself, Ratchet."

"Slag yeah I am. It took me six hours to work on Prowl, now I can get back to my berth. I'm not exactly young anymore."

"None of us are, Ratchet, well all of us except for Bumblebee. What did you change Prowl's detailing to?

Ratchet grunted, "To protect and serve", I just added to some symbols and covered parts of the rest. No one will ever know the difference. But Prime there is something we need to discuss about Prowl."

Optimus became worried. They had just got Prowl back, if something was seriously wrong everyone's spirits would fall and Jazz would be devastated.

"Prime," Ratchet continued. "Prowl's spark shows sign of separation."

Optimus had a look of confusion on his faceplates. A spark separating? That was impossible unless… "Ratchet, are you saying…"

"Yes Prime. Prowl, actually I better say Barricade had a child and I'll give you three guesses to figure out where that child is."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Noncon, child abuse, psychological issues, angst

Optimus just stared. Slowly, the statement Ratchet made sunk in. Prowl had a child. "Ratchet, is Prowl aware of this?"

"He knows Prime. You should talk to him about it."

Optimus sighed. "Very well, then."

Ratchet snorted. "I said should. You're not going to right now."

"Why not, if he needs to discuss something about his creation we need to listen, Ratchet."

Now it was Ratchet's turn to sigh. "No Prime. I'm not sure if Prowl can handle it mentally. He's in complete denial about having a child. Now, I'm going to wait for Jazz at the entrance so I can warn him."

"Warn Jazz," Optimus questioned.

"Yes," Ratchet answered. "Prowl is most likely suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. I'm not a psychologist so I can't be sure. But after spending several millennia as Barricade, there's no way he came out of it unscathed."

Optimus flinched he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Had he really been so busy he failed to notice the instability of someone he considered a good friend? "What are his problems so far Ratchet?"

The yellow-green mech vented air again. "Besides his denial over sparking, he's been having flashbacks of his time as Barricade. When he's not denying his child's existence, he is guilty and ashamed of it then goes right back into denial. Jazz has also told me that he hasn't been recharging well due to memories and nightmares."

"Will he..Will Prowl recover from this?"

"I don't know Optimus. I just don't know."

* * *

Bumblebee was worried. Right now, he and Jazz were on their way back to base after visiting Sam, but that wasn't why he was worried. Bumblebee was worried, because after leaving Sam Jazz hadn't said a word. Bee thought of Jazz as his older brother and it disturbed him to see Jazz upset and he had the idea that it had something to do with a certain cop car.

Deciding it was time to take action, Bee asked, "Jazz, are you okay?" When he received no answer, he pulled up alongside the Pontiac solstice and nudged him. "Jazz, is something wrong?"

Jazz jumped as he was pulled out of his thoughts. The entire time he'd been thinking how glad he was to finally have Prowl back, but he couldn't forget about how his spark would ache every time Prowl would wake up screaming each night. "Sorry Bee, ya say somethin'?"

"I asked you if you were okay." Now Bumblebee was definitely worried. If Jazz was that distracted whatever was going on had to be serious. "Jazz, are you thinking about Prowl?"

Jazz wondered if he should talk to Bumblebee about his problems. It wasn't that he didn't trust Bee it was that he just came back to life and didn't want to look like he couldn't handle himself. But Bee was a good listener and was pretty mature for his age maybe he could give him some advice. "Yeah Bee, I'm thinkin' about Prowl. It's amazing to have him here with me on earth, it's just.."

"Just what?"

"He wakes up screaming every night Bee. And he'll have these flashbacks and has a panic attack or something. I want t' help him get over this Bee, but I don't know how. I mean he spent millennia being that fragger Barricade. I know that he won't get better in one day, but I at least want him to get through one night of watching that sick bastard's memories and then hating himself for it."

After a few moments of silence Bumblebee spoke. "I..I don't know Jazz. I guess you and the rest of us have to be there for him. Prowl is important to all the Autobots even the twins. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"I know Bee, thanks. Now let's get back to base so we can see the work Ratchet did to Prowler." With that Jazz sped down the road, anxious to get back to base. Pleased with himself now that the Pontiac seemed to be in a better mood, Bumblebee sped after him.

* * *

Prowl laid on a berth in a private room. He felt like complete slag. Why couldn't he get the memories to stop haunting him? He wasn't Barricade anymore. He didn't want to see Barricade's memories as a Decepticon. The memories of It. _The memories of her._

**Chains held him down as he struggled to keep Blackout off him. Blackout put a dagger in his shoulder and slapped him. "Hold still." He stopped struggling.**

"No," Prowl whispered. That wasn't him. It was Barricade. It never happened. _It did._

**He screamed as the bonding wires connected to him. He was unprepared and Blackout was anything but gentle. Blackout began to claw at his chest plates, trying to get to his spark.**

"No, no, no, nonono." That wasn't him. That was Barricade. He never saw what happened to It afterwards. _It was you. You know what happened to her._

**Blackout had left. Unfortunately, he was still chained to the berth. He whistled, a sparkling came to him. She had watched and waited to be called. "Go get the repair kit," he told it. The sparkling left the room to do as she was told. This was not the first time Blackout had 'won' a game and came to collect on his 'winnings'.**

**Soon the sparkling came back with the repair kit and began to undo the chains.** _**Primus, she's a fast learner** _ **, he thought.** _**A stellar cycle ago, she could barely walk. Now she's talking in normal Cybertronian and can undo locks. She may be a force to be reckoned with as soon as she gets her adult upgrades.** _

**As soon as he's free he begins to repair himself. He stops when he notices the tiny femme glaring at him. "What," he snapped.**

**A hiss escaped the sparkling's vocalizer. "Why do you submit to him like that? You know if any other Decepticons saw you like that they'd label you as weak."**

" **Don't talk about things you know nothing about youngling."**

" **Why, 'cause I'm not Blackout's whore?" In a flash he struck out and a crash rang through the room as the sparkling hit the wall. His optic glowed with repressed rage as the sparkling wiped the energon from her mouth.**

"NO!" It was Barricade, not him! Barricade was the one who knocked his creation into a wall. Why wouldn't he, he didn't give a damn. Barricade never truly cared for the sparkling. Just like he didn't care. It was just another Decepticon. _You_ _hit her. It was because of_ _you_ _she bled._ _You_ _did care for_ _your_ _creation. You_ _still_ _care._

"NO!"

"PROWL!" Jazz raced into the room as he felt his bondmate's anguish. He held Prowl in his arms, as Prowl broke down sobbing.

"Jazz," Prowl cried. "Make it stop, please. Please just make it go away, I don't want to.. I'm not him anymore."

"It's okay Prowler," Jazz soothed as he sent love and reassurance across his bond to Prowl "You're not Cade. I got cha. I'm here. You're going to be all right." _I hope._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: child abuse, suggested sexual interest in a child

Three months. Three months on earth. She spent three tortuous months on this disgusting, primus-forsaken, dirtball planet. The Decepticon femme hissed. Who knew the humans would have a large forest in New Jersey? Whatever they called it didn't matter. She was fairly safe, thanks to the superstition of the Jersey Devil. At that thought the femme chuckled. - _If they want a devil, I'll gladly give them one.-_

But that would have to wait. She had hidden in a cave to hide after seeing several Decepticon jets nearby.

Her escape from the Nemesis had been too easy until Starscream had decided to fly in just as she was leaving. The fight was brief, but she didn't get away uninjured. She had sustained damage to her hip. The wound was healing, but without energon her repair systems were taking awhile to heal the damage.

Another hiss escaped her vocalizer. If Decepticons found her in this condition there was a good chance she could be terminated. She wouldn't be able to run far but at least she could still fight. Training with Barricade had taught her to endure worse.

Barricade didn't tolerate any weakness. She remembered during one sparring session, Barricade pulled off one of her arms and continued training until she shut down from energy loss.

She began to wonder how long it would take till someone found her. After making planet fall, she ran into the humans from NEST twice before she made it to Jersey. The first time happened an hour she after she made planet fall. The humans were so disorganized she was able to slip away. The second time occurred a few moments after she scanned a small ford truck so she could hide. She had to sit in her alternative mode for three hours before the humans left.

She glared at her armor in disgust. Thanks to the shape of the truck her armor wasn't dispersed evenly along her body. There was too much of it on her chest and back and it made her uncomfortable. As soon as her hip was healed she would leave the forest and find a sleeker form.

She was shaken out of her musings when she heard a soft tapping like sound against the cave. The femme looked out and saw it was raining. A purr ran through her systems and her doorwings were held high as she watched the rain fall. If one thing made up for the 'insects' that populated this planet it was the rain. She then looked at the ground in disdain.

It was a shame that there was one thing that ruined the rain. Mud.

– _I hate this planet-_

* * *

Jazz woke to the sound of hitching vents. "Prowl," Jazz whispered. He rose off the berth to find Prowl sitting on the edge with his head in his hands and his doors flat on his back. Jazz wrapped his arms around Prowl's waist in an attempt to comfort his mate. - _At least he's not screaming again.-_

Prowl had made improvement the last few months. He was slowly regaining his confidence and he hadn't had a flashback for two weeks now. He still woke up at night, but now he wasn't always screaming. Some nights he would wake up crying, like tonight, some nights he was screaming and crying, but it was the times that Prowl would just lay there with a distant look in his optics that bothered Jazz the most.

"It's alright Prowler. I'm here. Tell me what happened." Ratchet had instructed Jazz to try to get Prowl to talk about the memories, but most times Prowl would look away or change the subject.

"I..he…how could I, no he.. ," Prowl muttered. Jazz heard this and was instantly concerned. He knew Prowl was having acceptance problems, but it was still disturbing to watch him go through it.

"Prowl, baby, tell me what ya saw. I only want to help."

Prowl felt absolutely sick. His tanks were threatening to purge, his processor ached, and it felt like someone had stuck a blade in his spark as the memories he just saw were still swirling in his head.

**He was in a training arena. The air was thick and musty with the stench of spilt energon and coolant. Energon was splattered all over the ground. Before him stood his youngling, her vents were working full speed as he assessed the result of the training. One optic was shattered, a sensory panel missing, the other one had deep scratches in it. Ligature wounds were on her arms and legs, and several knife wounds covered her torso.**

Prowl purged his tanks. He couldn't get the sight of all the energon on the ground. Who could do that to their own child? Oh, right he did. _–No! It was Barricade. Barricade did it, not me.-_

Jazz heard Prowl's thought. He knew whatever Prowl saw was not something to be taken lightly. It had shaken him to the core. For a moment, Jazz was paralyzed by how much pain was pouring over the bond between him and Prowl. How long had Prowl been keeping it hidden from him?

"Prowl please. Let me help you," Jazz begged. He couldn't stand to see his bondmate like this.

"How could he do that? That was my.. his…," Prowl muttered. He felt like he was going to be sick again and the pain in his spark seemed to increase.

"Prowler, please what happened?"

**" **Better," he rumbled to the youngling. "It took you much longer to scream. Too bad, it was those doorwings that broke you in the end. And you couldn't lay a single scratch on me" He put a claw to his face and cocked his head as if he was thinking about something. "We'll have to work on that. Maybe Sideways would like to help. Would you like that, youngling?"****

****The youngling's optics flared in defiance. Oh, she knew what kind of 'help' Sideways would give her. It hadn't even been a full stellar-cycle since her upgrade, but she was adapting to her body well. In a flash she had moved across the arena and launched herself at Barricade.** **

****He landed with a grunt as he fell on his wings. He grinned at the youngling when he felt a knife at his throat. "Much better, youngling. You are learning, perhaps Sideways won't be needed after all."** **

Prowl trembled. She was too young for that body upgrade in the first place, but Barricade got it and she was being turned into a monster.

"She wasn't even old enough, Jazz," he whispered. Jazz cocked his head at this. She? He was sure Prowl never mentioned a she before.

"Prowl, who's she?"

"He…I.." And using Sideways has a motivator how sick was Barricade? _-You should know he was you-_

"No, not true, not true," Prowl mumbled. Why wouldn't that voice just leave him alone?

Jazz frowned. Prowl was too upset to tell him anything tonight. The best he could do was comfort Prowl enough to get him back to recharge. He began to send pulses of love and reassurance over the bond and pulled Prowl into his arms. "It's okay Prowler, I've got ya. You're safe, I'm here. Just go back to sleep."

Prowl trembled in his hold as he slowly lulled him back into recharge. Jazz just stared at the ceiling of their quarters. Prowl was supposedly talking to Ratchet about his experiences, though not much talking was being done. But he had told Jazz about a few things Barricade had done. Most of it was interrogation, assassination, and scout work.

But it never occurred to Jazz just how much Prowl _didn't_ tell him. He knew Prowl hadn't told him everything. He knew Prowl would probably never tell him everything, but he couldn't stop the ache in his chest that came with knowing that Prowl still had so much pain and he was hiding it away from him.

He wanted Prowl to heal. He wanted to see Prowl be happy again. Why couldn't Prowl just see he'd do anything to help him? That as long as he had this second chance at life he would never let anything like this happen to Prowl again?

Jazz looked down at his mate as he lay resting in his arms and thought, - _How much is he not telling me? How much do I not know?-_


	4. Chapter 4

The Decepticon was lost in thought as she drove down the road. Her hip was still causing her pain, but she was well enough to move. The first thing she did after leaving Jersey was find a new vehicle mode. It took her awhile to find one that would let her armor sit comfortably over her protoform, but she eventually settled on a Celica GT-S.

Her chassis was now all white except the hood which was all black. It was unusual for someone with her profession to have such a non-dark color, but her white paintjob is what made all the Decepticons aware of her ability and skill because she stood out. Working directly under Barricade had also helped her reputation. She still remembered the day her commander/creator questioned her choice on body color.

" **White," Barricade asked. The youngling moved her doorwings in a shrug.**

" **You already said that my skills are exceptional for one my age. Now I need to make sure everyone else knows too. What better way than to have armor that no one else has," she answered.**

" **Hmm… very well then. I'm sure you'll leave an impression on Decepticons and Autobots alike."**

She also thought about how Barricade would scold her for not having any real idea where she was or where she was going. Tired of her own thoughts she turned on the radio to see if any of the squishies had anything that could entertain her.

_It's just like a cigarette, it's something that I do_

_Once in awhile but between me and you It's just like a cigarette_

_Nobody's really fooled I don't want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool_

 

_Let me tell you something that I realized tonight_ , _My hip hop radio is like marlboro lights_

_They're both selling stories and they sound about the same_ , _C_ _igarettes say their safe, wrappers claim they really bang_

_We don't care if it's true when we lay the money down,_ _We don't believe the words, we just love the way they sound_

_They're acting like we're idiots, They're lying to our face_ _Maybe we are idiots, we buy it anyway_

_I_ _'m runnin out to get the next rapper's CD_ _Just suckin up the guns, drugs, and misogyny_

_T_ _he same way that I suck up all the stories_ _When I breathe that little bit of death supposedly cancer-free and_

_Everything they say's got the truth twisted up_ , _But twisted up's what I want man, I can't get enough_

_Cuz even though we know it's all just a big bluff ,_ _We just light another up, what_ _We don't give a fuck_

 

_It's just like a cigarette, it's something that I do_

_Once in awhile but between me and you_ _It's just like a cigarette_

_Nobody's really fooled_ _I don't want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool_

_It's just like a cigarette, It's something that I do_

_Over and over but between me and you_ _It's just like a cigarette_

_Nobody's really fooled_ _I don't want the truth, I wanna feel fucking cool_

This was much better than those love songs she heard the last time she tried using the radio. She shuddered as she recalled struggling with the damn thing for half an hour before she turned the radio off. Her HUD flashed red as her sensors started picking up a signal. She ran another sensor sweep and did not like the results.

"Slag."

* * *

Optimus was making his way to the Autobots rec. room, after spending all morning in a meeting with government officials and the head members of NEST. He needed to refuel and someplace to relax.

When Optimus entered the room he wasn't surprised to see Skids and Mudflap wrestling, while Sideswipe egged them on. He was amused to see Jolt holding on the Sideswipe's waist. Optimus' gaze finally landed on Jazz. Jazz was sitting in a corner staring at an energon cube. Concerned for his lieutenant, Optimus went to him.

"Hey Prime."

Optimus frowned. Out of all the Autobots Jazz was the least formal. He always addressed him by Optimus. "Something seems to be troubling you, Jazz," Optimus stated. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jazz snorted. "Not unless you can read Prowl's mind."

"Did something happen between you and Prowl?"

Jazz shook his head. "No. I'm just thinkin' about somethin' Prowl said last night."

"I take he's had another nightmare then?"

Jazz nodded. "Yeah, except last night while he was crying he mumbled somethin' about a she and I can't figure out why." Jazz looked away from Prime. "It hurts to see him like this Optimus."

Optimus hummed in agreement. It did hurt to see Prowl so vulnerable. All the Autobots had felt it, but it was remarkable how Prowl seemed to be healing. However, Optimus couldn't shake the feeling that this she Jazz had mentioned had something to do with Barricade/Prowl's creation.

Optimus stopped his musings as he received a com from Ratchet telling him to get his gigantic aft to the medbay now, because Prowl is about to be reformatted into a toaster oven if you don't. Optimus sighed already dreading the processor ache he got whenever Ratchet and Prowl wouldn't back down from their disagreement.

"Jazz," Optimus said hoping to regain Jazz's attention. When Jazz focused on him again he continued, "Ratchet has just commed me to come to med bay to discuss Prowl's recovery. Would you like to come?" To his relief, Jazz agreed and they both left the rec room to go face the horror that was Ratchet.

When they arrived at the medbay, Ratchet took one look at Jazz and said, "Get out."

"But."

"Out. I'll talk with you later right now I need to discuss something with Prime."

Jazz was irritated about being forced into the hall. This was Prowl they were talking about. It didn't matter what Ratchet needed to tell Prime he should be in there too. Not about to be left out of loop, Jazz pressed his sensitive audios to the door to listen.

"Prime we have a problem with Prowl," Ratchet began. "He needs to accept the fact he was Barricade or he may never recover."

"Ratchet how does that affect Prowl's recovery," Optimus asked, looking around the med bay. "Speaking of which, where is Prowl?"

"Prowl returned to his quarters Prime. I checked," Ratchet answered. "This affects Prowl's recovery because he admits the things Barricade has done and can talk about, but he refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was reprogrammed _into_ Barricade. He might not have been fully conscious of his actions, but it was still his body, his spark. He did do it. He needs to admit that he _was_ Barricade.

Optimus nodded at this. "That does make sense Ratchet, but won't that cause Prowl unnecessary pain? And what about the sparkling?"

"It most likely will hurt Prowl, but he needs to work through the pain, not hide away from it and pretend it doesn't exist. And don't even get me started on his offspring….."

Ratchet was interrupted by the hiss of the doors. Both mechs turned to see Jazz standing stiffly in the doorway, a mixture of shock and anger written all over his face. "Did I hear ya right, Doc? Are you seriously saying that Prowl has a child?"

* * *

Bumblebee sighed as he drove along an empty road. His reason for being out here was pretty pathetic now that he thought about it. The reason Bumblebee was out driving when he was supposed to be on monitor duty was simple: he was lonely.

It seemed everyone on base had someone. Skids and Mudflap had each other and they annoyed him with their constant bickering. Sideswipe and Jolt were hooking up whenever and wherever they wouldn't get caught by Ratchet and Ironhide. He liked Sideswipe and Jolt just fine, but only when the other wasn't around. If they were together, but Bee never knew if they would start interfacing right in front of him. Ratchet and Ironhide would take care of their 'needs'. Besides, they raised him they couldn't give him the comfort he desired. The same went with Optimus Prime, he couldn't relieve Bee of the longing in his spark. And then there was Jazz and Prowl, although Bee was sure there wasn't too much concern for romance in their relationship right now.

Bee supposed he could always go to see his human companions, but they were a completely different species. They would sympathize with him, but Sam and Mikaela had each other and wouldn't completely understand.

Bee was shaken out of his self pity fest when his sensors began to send him enemy incoming warnings. Bee looked ahead and saw a Con. A Con that was heading straight for him. – _Slag-_

"Bumblebee to base."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song was Cigarette by Fort Minor


	5. Chapter 5

**flashback**

- _thinking_ -

**:** **bond talking:**

 

Shock…anger…betrayal…hurt.

Shock from what he just heard. Anger, that Ratchet and Prime had hid this from him. How could they? Prowl was his bondmate! How could Prowl keep this from him? After all the sleepless nights filled with Prowl's pain, fear, and tears, he had been there to care for him. How could Prowl not tell him? They were bonded! He trusted Prowl with everything. All his darkness, the lies, the guilt, all the things he had done in the quiet of night that would make a bot's energon run cold. How could Prowl not tell him?

His spark burned in his chest. It was almost as bad as the pain when he was torn in half. He'd always wanted a child, but he and Prowl had decided to wait until after the war. Now he knew Prowl had a child and it had nothing to do with him.

"Jazz."

When he heard Ratchet calling his name Jazz snapped.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL MEH!" Jazz shouted. "I HAD EV'RY RIGHT TO KNOW! PROWL'S MY BONDMATE, YOU SHOULDA TOLD MEH WHAT WAS WRONG WITH HIM!"

"WE DIDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE OF THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING RIGHT NOW!" Ratchet yelled back.

Knowing he had to do something before the situation got worse Optimus stepped between his lieutenant and medic.

"Now Jazz," Optimus said soothingly in an attempt to calm the saboteur. "Ratchet and I thought it would be in everyone's best interest if Prowl told you himself."

Jazz opened his mouth to reply, but then his processor began to actually process what Optimus had just said. – _Everyone's best interest if Prowl told me himself, huh? We'll see about that_ \- Instead of snapping at Optimus, Jazz turned on his heel and went to the med bay doors.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Ratchet called after him.

"To find Prowl so we can have a chat," replied Jazz.

Optimus sighed as he pinched his nasal ridge between his thumb and forefinger. "This can't end well. An angry Jazz and a soon to be upset Prowl (sigh) and the day has just started. How could it get any worse?" he muttered.

A crackle filled the room as his com link was put on speaker. _'Bumblebee to base; I have spotted a Decepticon and in pursuit. Request assistance.'_

Ratchet turned his glare on the Prime. "Goddamn it Prime. You just had to ask, didn't you?"

* * *

Prowl sat alone on his berth trying to fight down another wave of nausea. Why was this happening again? He thought he had gotten over this. – _Why do I keep seeing_ him _-_?

**He vented air as he walked down the hall. His armor covered in energon and coolant from his newest 'charge'. He didn't mind the gore, but it was beginning to dry and it made his plating itch. Lucky for him, Megatron valued his interrogation skills enough to reward him with a room with a private wash rack.**

**The recent interrogation had not gone well. Not well at all. A growl rumbled from deep inside his chest, the Autobot's spark had given out with no reason for doing so, and the Autobot just had to die as soon as he was beginning to get the information he required. Now Soundwave would have to do an autopsy on the body and see if anything could be gained from it before it was broken down into spare parts.**

**He let another burst of air pass through his vents as he finally entered his quarters and went straight to the wash racks. He had no idea how long he was under the cleanser. He recalled scrubbing the energon and coolant off his armor and then watching it go down the drain. After he was clean he turned off the cleanser and went into the main room of his quarters.**

**Upon entering the room, he was not put off to see the gleaming white armor of his subordinate lounging about. "I know your mission had better be a success or you're going to pay for your insolence for having your pedes on my furniture, youngling."**

**The Con in question raised her head and tossed a chip towards him. "It was, Sir. I'm not stupid, you know. I rather put up with Sideways for two millennia than deal with a fragged off you."**

**As he examined the chip thrown to him, he began to question the younger Con. "The officer in question is dead?"**

" **Yes."**

" **No one saw you?"**

" **Affirmative."**

" **All the information I told you to retrieve is here?"**

**The femme lowered her doorwings into a submissive posture. She had no wish to go see the Doctor. She couldn't stand the tiny Decepticon, every time he examined her she would have to fight the urge to squat him like the little bug he was. She could always lie, but she never been able to lie to Barricade and trying would guarantee a trip to the Doctor.**

**Deciding that the truth would be the best policy, she quickly replied, "Well, not exactly. There was a complication."**

**With an icy tone he replied, "What kind of complication?"**

" **The Autobot had a suicide code. As soon as I captured him it was activated, so I had to work fast to get what I could out of his processor before his memory banks became corrupted from energy loss," she explained. "However, I was able to download 81.976% of his memory banks before the data was lost or unusable."**

**He hummed in response. He would have liked a hundred percent, but that would do. She did get the job done and if the Autobot had a suicide code, no one would blame them for poor work, and so that was that.**

**He moved to a console he had in the room and inserted the chip. As the data was uploading to his personal files he noticed that his creation was still in the room. Usually after a mission she would report to him and then leave to mind her own affairs until she decided to return to her room, which was next to him. A knowing smirk crossed his face as he realized why she was still there. "You ran into Sideways on your way in, didn't you?"**

**The femme hissed. "You said his fascination with me would end as I was upgraded into my adult body, but it seems to have increased."**

**He shrugged. "Don't complain to me. If it bothers you so much Sideways could always loose a leg. Besides I don't understand pedophilia.**

" **Right, because you're into masochism," the femme muttered under her breath.**

**His wings flew up in anger. "WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" He got up and walked in front of the femme.**

**Her optics flashed in defiance her own sensory panels flaring up. Most of the time when Barricade was angry she would back down, but not this time. She was sick of Blackout and was putting her foot down on the matter.**

" **I said what is that supposed to mean, youngling," he snarled, voice dangerously low.**

" **Nothing, Sir. Just stating that you shouldn't be a gambling mech is all," she replied, not even flinching when clawed digits began to sink into her throat.**

– _Everyone's best interest if Prowl told me himself, huh? We'll see about that-_

Prowl jerked out of the memory as he felt Jazz through the bond. He felt waves of anger, hurt and betrayal. He began to worry over what could have gotten Jazz so worked up. Jazz was usually an easy going mech by nature if he was this upset it had to be serious.

Fighting off another wave nausea, Prowl waited for his mate. After a few moments Jazz burst into the room. Prowl shuttered his optics as he was bombarded by the intensity of Jazz's emotions as they flowed across the bond. – _Why didn't_ _I notice it sooner_?-

Prowl opened his optics when he felt Jazz's presence next to him. He looked up to see his mate standing before him. Tension filled the room as the two mechs stood there staring at each other. There was a soft click as Jazz retracted his visor, anguish clearly showing in his optics.

"Why, Prowl?" Jazz whispered. **: Why didn't you tell me? After everythin' that's happened, why didn't ya say somethin'? :**

Prowl considered his answer carefully. He could tell that Jazz was doing his best to remain calm, but inside he was seething. One wrong word and he would explode into an endless tirade. But what could he say, how could he tell Jazz? _–Admit you were wrong and accept it-_

No. HE was _not_ Barricade. "I'm not him. Whatever he did is his business."

"Whatever he did is his business," Jazz repeated, his tone held an edge to it. "That's all ya have ta say about this? That it's not your business!"

Prowl sighed when Jazz yelled. He tried to send pulses of reassurance to Jazz, but Jazz just sent anger in his direction. Prowl then realized he really put his foot in his mouth by saying that. "Jazz…"

"How can ya say that? 'Course it's your business! Prowl, ya have a child, ya can't deny that!"

Prowl felt the frustration and anger that had been building slowly finally explode. He had this conversation with Ratchet countless times. Each session the same as the last: he must accept that he was Barricade and everything that went with it.

He left the med bay this morning because it was the same conversation with Ratchet as the images began to flash in his head again. He was sick of it. Sick of the flashbacks, the sleepless nights, arguing with Ratchet, everything. He'd be damned if he had to have this argument with Jazz. He was NOT Barricade! The child wasn't his!

– _It is yours-_

"IT'S NOT MINE! I'M NOT BARRICADE!"

"I NEVER SAID YOU WERE!" Jazz yelled back. "THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A CREATOR! YOU CAN DENY IT ALL YA LIKE, BUT IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! YOU LIED TO ME, PROWL!"

Prowl just stared at Jazz. He lied to Jazz? About what? Then he realized that the reason Jazz was angry was because he was hurt. He felt betrayed that he didn't tell him about Barricade.

"Jazz I…" Prowl was cut off as Jazz's com link began to beep.

Jazz sighed as he answered the com. Now was not the time and his mood became worse, when he found Prime waiting on the other end waiting for him. "Jazz here."

' _Jazz, I know now isn't the best time, but we just received a message from Bumblebee. He's run into Decepticons and is requesting assistance.'_

Jazz's optics widened all his previous anger morphed into concern for Bee. He knew Bumblebee would leave base to go driving alone, but he never thought Bee would get caught by Cons. "How many?"

' _We're not sure. Ironhide and Arcee are still with Lennox. So only three of us are staying behind, while the others go to Bumblebee.'_

"Who's stayin' behind?"

' _Prowl, Ratchet, and Jolt.'_

"Alright Optimus, I'll be there in a sec."

Jazz turned off his com to Optimus to see Prowl staring at him with worry in his optics. Jazz lowered his visor and answered Prowl's unspoken question as he headed towards the door. "Bumblebee ran into Cons and needs help."

With one last glance over his shoulder before the door closed, Jazz looked Prowl in the optics and said, "We'll finish this when I come back."

Prowl didn't get a chance to reply, because Jazz was already out the door and running down the hall, and no one was there to see Prowl as he broke down and cried.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mention of rape, violence, child abuse

_-thinking-_

**-flashback-**

**:bond:**

 

The Decepticon groaned as her systems came online. She noticed that there was no pain in her hip. Alarmed, she sat up and immediately fell back down in pain. Apparently her new welds didn't like the idea of moving.

After a few minutes of lying on her back and staring at the ceiling, she decided to try to sit up again. Slowly she sat up ignoring the sting of her wounds, and took in her surroundings. It quickly became obvious that she was on the floor of some cell. If she listened close, she could hear the hum of the electric bars of her cell. She wasn't on the Nemesis, but that fact gave her little comfort.

Where the hell on this disgusting planet was she?

Examining her body she found that she was correct in assuming her body was covered in welds, but now she had two more questions to solve. First, when was she injured? Second, who repaired her?

Scooting back so she could lean her back against the wall, the Decepticon began to access her memory files.

**She watched in anger and fear as two jets flew over her. There was no doubt they were hunters set loose to find anyone foolish enough to leave Megatron's command. Her sensors sent another enemy alert as two more Decepticons came up behind her on the road. Putting her engine in full throttle she made a turn to see an Autobot in her way.**

**Slag.**

**The yellow Autobot transformed, prepared to take on all five Decepticons. Revving her engine she easily sped past the idiotic fragger. Looking back she watched as the two ground cons collided with the Autobot. Now that two of her pursuers were distracted by the Autobot, she could get rid of the two fliers.**

**Increasing her speed, she hoped that somehow she could outrun them. It seemed to be working until she heard the sound of missiles and saw ash and flame. Transforming, she began shooting at the jets above her. Then pain washed through her frame as shots hit her back.**

Heavy footsteps echoed throughout the room. The Decepticon femme onlined her optics to see three mechs walk to the front of her cell. One was a large black mech, weapons online and ready to use. Ironhide, weapons specialist he's smarter than he looks she mused. Turning her attention to look at the one walking between the other two, the obvious leader was huge. He must be Optimus Prime. But what caught her attention the most was the shortest of the trio. The silver mech seemed familiar, she knew she'd seen him somewhere before. She knew his name: Jazz head of Special Ops and Prime's first lieutenant.

As he came closer she felt a small pull on her spark. She narrowed her optics; that was not normal. _\- That's strange. My spark shouldn't be acting this way. Maybe it's a sign of the end.-_

The three stopped several feet away from the cell. The tallest of the three stepped forward and spoke, "I am Op.."

"I know who you are, ya giant pile of scrap metal", the femme sneered. Great, she just had to be picked up by Autobots. It was like Primus had decided to use her for some kind of sadistic joke. "You're Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and the last descendant of the Primes. The old piece of junk next to you is your Weapons Specialist, Ironhide. The midget to your left is your first lieutenant and head of Special Ops, Jazz."

"You seem to know about us, young one, but we know nothing about you", the Prime replied. Young one? She was an assassin for Primus' sake! She had mercilessly killed dozens of Autobots. She had even taken out one of the most powerful Senators of Cybertron and he had the nerve to address her as young one?

"Actually sir…" All optics turned to Jazz. "I have an idea on who he is."

Perfect. First Prime had addressed her as a youngling and now the runt thinks she's as mech, how had the Autobots survived the war was beyond her. They couldn't even tell what her body type she was. She sulkily watched the silver mech as he told his commander all the information he had on her.

"Vorns ago while on Cybertron, there were at least three dozen Bots were killed. Most of them were officers and those working directly under them. The rest were senators."

"I remember. Investigations determined that they were all assassinated by Decepticons," Optimus replied.

Jazz nodded. "Mirage and meh went in to see if we find anythin' on who Megatron sent to do it. We didn't turn up a name. The only thing we could turn up was a description of white armor and sensory panels."

"Which our guest fits perfectly," Prime concluded.

"You got it, Boss Bot."

With a nod of his head, Prime turned his attention back to the Decepticon. "Now that we have some idea of who you are, would you tell us your name?" the Prime asked.

Her engine rumbled as she watched the Autobots. This was humiliating or at least it would be if she didn't abandon the Nemesis. But she had, and now she was here. But as long as she was here she might as well make her stay entertaining.

"Noneya," she told Prime.

"Nunya?" the leader replied, confused.

She nodded. "Mmhm. Noneya as in None ya business."

"Why you disrespectful…!"

She chuckled as the Prime and midget struggled with the large black mech as he attempted to get through the cell bars to her. Her amusement was cut short when a pulse seemed to move through her chassis, starting at her spark and moving outwards. Frowning, at the sensation she shuddered as a weaker pulse went through her. She had no mate, so the only reason for the pulses could be no other than Barricade.

"So Prime.." She grinned as the Autobots stopped their bickering and returned their attention to her. "Tell me, how is dear old Barricade?"

She yelped in pain as the midget dragged her to the front of her cell and pressed against electrified bars. _– How did that happen? His arms weren't long enough to reach me from his position?-_

Even with a visor covering half his face, she could see the rage on his face plate. She'd bet the whole solar system that the silver mech would dismantle her in the most painful way possible and would dance on her remains if the other two weren't there.

She struggled to get away, but failed miserably as the mech's grip tightened. The electricity from the bars burned her, causing her wounds to reopen. Energon trickled down her body as she tried once again to escape the smaller mech's hold as he dragged her closer to him. A growl escaped his vocalizer. The tone of his voice made her energon run cold.

"His name is Prowl, you sick fragger. If you ever get near him I'll…"

"Jazz, control yourself!"

"Put him down! Stop it!"

Instead of listening to his fellows, Jazz slammed the Decepticon against the bars. She cried out as the electricity flowed into her wounds, energon now pooling at her feet.

**:NO!:**

"Prowl!"

The silver mech dropped his prisoner heard and ran to the brig's exit. The attack ended as abruptly as it had started. The last thing the Decepticon heard as she slipped into stasis was someone yelling, but it seemed so far away.

"Ironhide, get Ratchet!"

* * *

Prowl was sitting in the dark. His sobs had stopped as memories had finally passed. For now.

If he focused he could feel Jazz, despite the block in their bond that had been put up. Prowl was relieved to find that Jazz's rage towards him was forgotten. Right now, Jazz was more focused on his concern for Bumblebee and curiosity about what he couldn't tell. He sighed, knowing that Jazz's lack of attention was only temporary. Once he was done with his duty and had visited Bumblebee he would remember the feelings of hurt and betrayal and come searching for Prowl.

Prowl's optics dimmed in exhaustion. Really, Jazz has no reason to be angry with him in the first place.

_Yes, he does. You didn't tell him_

"There's nothing to say," Prowl whispered. Why couldn't the voice just leave him alone? He felt tired and sick. He didn't want to hear it anymore, he just wanted to recharge until Barricade's memory faded from existence.

_Liar_

"No. It's the truth."

_It's not_

"Yes it is! I'm not him, I'm not Barricade!"

_You were_

Whimpering filled the room. "I'm not."

**He cried out as Blackout finally disengaged himself. At least he didn't use restraints on him this time. His scratches and bite marks minor, only a few dribbles of blue blood leaking out. He stood up to get to stretch his joints, optics on Blackout, waiting for him to leave so the youngling could return to him. It saddened him that he had to send her away, but after last time when she lashed out, he refused to give Blackout an excuse to lay a claw on her.**

" **So where's that brat of yours? I'm surprised it hasn't torn my optics out."**

" **None of your business," he responded, facing away from Blackout, fists clenched. He refused to give the sadist the satisfaction of knowing he was starting to get to him. "We're done here, now get out."**

**Chuckling Blackout headed towards the door. "I'm goin', I'm goin'. I'd watch that runt closely if I were you. Quite a few mechs have been watching it, if you know what I mean."**

**He waited for Blackout to leave, before unclenching his fists. He couldn't wait for the day Blackout would get himself deactivated. Growling, he began to seal up the marks Blackout was so kind enough to leave on his chassis. Although he should probably be grateful that Blackout wasn't in a frisky mood, but there were so many of them. Maybe if his creation came back soon he wouldn't have to spend all night sealing them up.**

**Suddenly his spark jumped as if someone had just injected liquid nitrogen straight into his veins.**

**He hurried out of his quarters into the hall. Looking around he turned all his sensors on high. His doorwings twitched as they picked up vibrations off the wall to his left. Heading towards that direction, it wasn't long till he heard the crash of metal and the angry trills and whistles only his creation would make.**

**Turning the corner, he lashed out with his blade wheels and smirked at the feel of slashing into metal and the yelp of pain. He looked down to see the youngling laying her head against his thigh. He could feel the pain from her dislocated doorwings and relief of his arrival from her. Sending a wave comfort to her, he turned his gaze to Sideways.**

" **Don't you ever touch her again," he growled. "If I catch you, I'll tear your spark out."**

What did that memory prove? So Barricade protected his little minion, what did it have to do with him? He just wanted this nightmare to end.

_You protected your child._

No. "She's not mine. I'm not Barricade."

_She is. You were. Why deny it?_

"Because I'm not him. I never was!"

_Liar_

"No."

**He watched with satisfaction as the youngling was silent as he twisted her arm back.**

" **You've improved," he rumbled. "Remember, the panels on your back are as vulnerable as they are useful. Many opponents will go after them, like this." She screamed.**

His body shook with disgust. How could someone torture a sparkling and justify it as training?

_To make her stronger, so she could survive. That's why you did it._

No. I didn't." It wasn't him.

_Liar_

" **Primus! If you don't hold still, I'll let that little parasite weld your aft together**!"

**The youngling looked over her shoulder. "But I don't like the doctor. It's not my fault. How was I supposed to know that Soundwave had booby trapped the ventilation system!" she shot back.**

" **That's why it's called training! So if something similar to this does happen when you're on an actual mission you're prepared for it!"**

" **Yes sir."**

**He grunted and continued the repairs.**

No. No. That wasn't him.

_It was_

**He watched as she fell to floor. Her optics glowing with repressed rage and defiance. It didn't take long for her to assert herself now that she had her adult upgrades. She growled, a hand pressed to the cut on her face plate. "I'm sick of him. If I can't get rid of him myself, why not let someone else do it? Or maybe the Autobots could have him to pick at?"**

" **Because I will not be held accountable if Blackout were to let anything important to slip into the Autobots' hands," he responded.**

No! "I'm not Barricade! I never did…"

_You did because you_ _ were _ _Barricade_

"No!"

**He waited at the rendezvous point. Disposing of dear old Senator Ratbat had been no problem for his little assassin. Not only was the fool out of the way, Soundwave would have a new pet soon. Pride swelled in his spark, his creation had done well again. Now if she would just get here. He was brought out of his thoughts as his sensors picked up a familiar presence. He looked up to see a white form coming close.**

" **Any difficulties getting away?" he questioned.**

" **Nope," she replied. "Just had to take the long way to avoid the crowd."**

**He nodded. "Good work. Let's go."**

NO! "NO!"

_Yes_

Anguish filled his core as Prowl broke down again.


	7. Chapter 7

**_:thinking:_ **

****:bond:** **

**/comlinks/  
**

 

**:Prowl**

_Barricade_

Memories continued to flash through his processor in a chaotic sequence. There was no sense of time or place, just what he was seeing.

_Barricade_

**:Prowl!:**

A vivid blur of gunshots and screams passed him. Then the feeling of being strapped down, someone pulling away his armor and cables entering ports. Another presence inside him, consuming him, destroying him. The only evidence of his pain were the screams and pleas for help that went unanswered.

**:Prowl!:**

_Barricade_

He whimpered at the memory of catching a young scout. He shivered as he felt the scout's armor break, sparks from wires and energon flowing from the wounds. Still the scout would not reveal the location of the Allspark. Instead the scout began to sputter nonsense as an act of defiance.

A breeze passed his doorwings as a certain presence moved behind his back. He caught a flash of white armor, and knew it was his creation. He looked up at the sound of heavy footsteps. He watched nervously as Megatron approach. He could taste her fear at Megatron's appearance. Megatron demanded the Allspark's whereabouts, all he could say is that the scout just babbled stupidly and had revealed nothing.

Dread filled him as Megatron tortured the scout. Screams filled his audios, but the scout still denied Megatron, until they saw the Allspark being shot off into space.

_Barricade_

**:Prowl! Answer me!:**

He cried out when Megatron tore the scout's vocalizer out. The images continued to flash and all he could do was tuck his knees to his chest and hoped for it to be over.

The memories wouldn't stop.

He growled at the humiliation and pain in his spark. Why was he foolish enough to think he could win a bet over Starscream's life expectancy? Soundwave had warned him about Blackout, but had he listened? No, he had ignored him because he was offended that Soundwave had the nerve to read his thoughts and warn him of his stupidity and now his spark was burning. Or was it freezing? Or was it a combination of both freezing and burning?

All he knew was that he couldn't erase the feel of Blackout's touch and it sickened him. He could not escape the feeling that he had just hurt someone he didn't want to hurt. There was only one person he could trust to remove the strange sensations in his spark. He needed that know it all telepath. He needed Soundwave. He hated these feelings. He wished that it would just end.

**:Prowl! Prowl!:**

_Barricade_

He hissed. How stupid could he be? He could feel the split in his spark. He couldn't have a sparkling; he was unbonded and surrounded by blood thirsty killers. Well, other blood thirsty killers. The chances of it living past the gestation period were slim to none. It took two mechs to repeatedly spark merge throughout the gestation period to give the sparkling enough energy to mature. It was very difficult for a single mech to supply the sparkling energy by himself. Even if he could give the sparkling the energy it needed and could get a protoform for the spark there was no way it would survive to adulthood amongst the Decepticons. If Megatron chose not to rip it out of his chest.

He should just abort the thing while it was still technically part of him and not another life, but somehow he couldn't find it in himself to go through with it. Sparklings were rare, they took longer to grow than hatchlings, but they were smarter, stronger, and usually lived much longer.

Hatchlings were born when a mech had sparked and the little spark was placed in a maturation sack. But sparklings were special. He couldn't destroy it, he wanted it to live. Needed it to live. He would come up with an excuse that a sparkling could be trained later, now he needed someone who knew about sparklings and their development and he had the feeling that a certain telepath could help him.

_Barricade_

**:Prowl! Prowl, talk to meh! What's wrong?:**

Pride filled him as he watched the sparkling grow. At first, he was concerned about the body frame for the new spark. Choosing the femme frame seemed best for the weak spark and his decision was rewarded. She had survived everything that was thrown at her. The upgrades, the training, the other Decepticons, and even Megatron's wrath. His creation had become a terror to the Autobots, a foe that frightened them like the stories of Unicron scared sparklings. His creation, his child.

**:Prowl!:**

Why wouldn't the yelling stop?

_Barricade_

Why wouldn't the voices just leave him alone? What did they want? To hear the truth? How he had allowed himself to be turned into a monster that killed and tortured his comrades, how he had reveled in their scream and cries for mercy? How he had attacked his own daughter to train for a life full of murder and bloodshed?

Every part of his body ache as more and more images flashed through his processer. The decay of Cybertron, the tension of the Nemesis, the constant petty fights between the Deceptions, crashing of Earth, the search for the all spark, Samuel Witwicky and so many more. He thought it would tear him apart.

"Prowl!" A pair of arms wrapped around him. Tired and broken from the memories still running through his processor Prowl collapsed in his mate's embrace.

"It's alright Prowler, I gothca" Jazz whispered as his spark wailed with Prowl's.

* * *

Optimus followed Ratchet out of the brig. The Decepticon was now stabilized after Jazz's assault. Once Ratchet had him repaired he began to run tests on their 'guest'. What confused Optimus was how in the middle of a test, Ratchet had swore than snapped at him to accompany him to the med bay. Listening to Ratchet swear Optimus found himself envying Sideswipe and Jolt as they watched the Decepticon.

Upon entering the medbay Optimus turned to see Bumblebee resting on one of the berths. It was hard to fight off the urge to go over and hold the young scout close; he could still remember Bumblebee as the adorable and energetic sparkling that captured the spark of every Autobot he met. Sometimes it was difficult to think of Bee as a soldier and not a child. "Ratchet…"

"He's fine, Optimus. Bee just needs to sleep it off and he'll be running around in no time, but Bee's not the reason I needed to talk to you. Our little Decepticon is."

Optimus' curiosity peaked. He wasn't surprised to find the Decepticon being attacked by his comrades. The only reason he gave the order to take the Decepticon into custody was for the chance to see if he would tell them anything of Megatron's plans for immunity among the Autobots. If there was one thing the Decepticons valued it was survival at all costs.

"What about the Decepticon has you worried, Ratchet? Jazz's attack was uh disturbing but that..."

"It's not about Jazz. It's about Prowl."

"Prowl?" Optimus questioned.

"No Will Lennox. Yes Prowl!" Ratchet snapped as he moved towards a monitor. "Come here and look at this Prime."

Optimus went over as he watched Ratchet turn the monitor on and began connecting cables.

"Now look at the top half of the screen. Do you see the spark signature?"

"Yes. I assume that's Prowl's spark signature" Optimus replied.

"Correct" Ratchet said. "Now look at the signature on the bottom half of the screen."

Optimus had to reboot his optics twice. Except for a few fluctuations in the pattern it looked just like Prowl's. That was impossible unless..

"Ratchet are you saying that the Decepticon we have in the brig is Prowl's creation?"

"Yes. Who would have thought the Decepticon femme we picked up would be Prowl's offspring?"

Wait, femme?

Ratchet glared at Optimus' look of confusion.

"My god Optimus, you couldn't tell that she was a femme? How long have you been online again?"

"I can tell the difference between mechs and femmes" Optimus said defensively. "She has heavy armor on."

Ratchet snorted. "Of course she has heavy armor on. What fighter doesn't?"

Optimus shook his head, knowing he wouldn't win this argument.

"Optimus?"

"Yes, Ratchet?"

"Now that we have Prowl's creation here, what do we do with her?"

Optimus sighed. "I wish I knew."

"Prowl has a kid?" A static filled voice called.

Ratchet and Optimus turned to see Bumblebee sitting up on his berth.

Ratchet swore. "Shit."

* * *

Could this get any worse? The Decepticon lay in her cell watching the red and green morons beat each other up... again. It was only her second day as the Autobot's prisoner and she was already thinking about slitting her own wrists. It was truly a miracle the Autobots had survived this long.

After the midget had attacked her, she had passed out until the next day. She had woken to see a silver bot with wheeled feet and a blue bot engaging in heavy petting right in front of her cell. The weapons specialist came in and yelled at them. He told the silver one to come in later for a shift and sent both of them out. Then the little green mech walked in.

At first it was okay, but then the red one showed up and they started to fight. When they wore themselves out they apologized to each other and actually started a somewhat decent conversation. Unfortunately, the conversation led to an argument, which led to another fight. The cycle repeated itself for several hours as she prayed to Primus to just strike her with lightning to make it end.

After what seem like forever the trigger happy fragger came in and threw them out. She was glad it him in charge of guard duty. She had enjoyed the six hours of his shift since he had ignored her and she him.

When he left, the tall mech with wheeled feet came back to watch her. He had tried to start a conversation with her, but gave up when she refused to answer. An hour after her new babysitter came in a blue mech came into the brig. She couldn't help the feeling of disgust as the two were all over each other as soon as they were in arms reach. Really, couldn't they do that somewhere where she couldn't see them? To her relief the two left the brig to pursue other activities and she was left all alone. The silver mech came back a while later to be relieved of his shift.

Next came three femmes. She was actually curious about them. They all moved and acted as if they were one unit. Then again maybe they were it wasn't that unusual among Cybertronians. Also there was the fact she had only seen two other femmes before in her life and none of them had been as small as these three. One had been an instructor for her when Barricade was away. She was deactivated before she had reached her adult frame. The second was an Autobot spy that Barricade had interrogated for breaking into their base at the time.

It would be quite interesting to see how these femmes interacted, however it didn't take long for her to hate them too, more specifically the blue and pink one. The pink one did nothing but stare at her for hours and the blue one just threw insults and made sly comments about the joys of being a Decepitcon femme. If she wanted to call her a pleasure drone she should have just said that instead of annoying her. The Decepticon didn't mind the purple femme too much. She had been blissfully quiet.

Sadly, for her the femmes were called away and the two glitches came again. She had heard the two call each other brother and assumed they were twins.

_:They have to be twins. I can't imagine any sane person wanting to frag their creator twice.:_ she thought.

She hissed as the red mech was tossed into the bars of her cell. Primus, out of all the Autoscum that she had seen today these two were the worst. She'd take that silver midget any day at least he was normal.

"Hey sweetie!"

Great the green stump was trying to talk to her again. If she remembered correctly, it was their flirting that started a fight a couple of hours earlier. She continued to ignore the twins, hopefully they would take the hint and go somewhere far, far away from her.

"Come on baby, don't be like that" the red one cooed. "We just wanna holla at ya for a bit."

She sneered. Holla? What the frag was that, some kind of human slang? Could this get any worse?

Thankfully, her torment was about to end.

"Skids! Mudflap!" Ironhide bellowed. "You little pitspawn better not be fighting! I could always use target practice!"

Ironhide walked up to the brawling twins and activated his cannons. Hearing, the whirl of Ironhide's cannons both twins shot up and ran for the door as if the entire Decepticon army was right behind them. Chuckling at his success Ironhide turned to see the Decepticon watching him with lazy optics. It felt as if he was looking right through him, could see all the things he hid from everyone else. He didn't like it.

"What the hell are you looking at", Ironhide snapped.

"Nothing really, just a gun toting buffoon" The Decepticon replied before turning away from him.

How dare that Decepticon turn his back on him? But something was off. The Decepticon's voice was higher than it should be unless…

_: No I must need my audios checked. There aren't any Decepticon femmes left. Most of them went neutral and the ones that didn't were killed or reformatted into mech frames. :_ Ironhide thought, still watching the Decepticon. He couldn't help but wonder why a ground based Decepticon would decide to keep sensor panels on their back. They were useful, but vulnerable in close combat.

/Ironhide/

Grumbling, Ironhide answered his comm. /Here, Prime./

/I need you in my office. Ratchet has found out something important about the Decepticon in our custody./

/What's it about?/ Ironhide questioned.

A short pause followed the question before Optimus finally commed back. /Sorry, old friend but I'd rather not speak about it until you arrive./

/Understood Prime. Uh, what about the prisoner?/

/Bumblebee is on his way to watch her. Prime out./

As soon as he closed his comm. Ironhide turned to see Bumblebee walking in the room.

"Hey kid, glad to see you're still in the land of the functioning. Keep a close eye on this Decepticon got it?" Ironhide greeted. Bumblebee nodded and took up his post. Shaking his head, Ironhide headed towards Prime's office. It was a shame that Bumblebee's vocalizer still acted up from time to time. At least he could be trusted to keep an eye on the Decepticon.

Wait, did Prime say her?

* * *

Bumblebee waited until Ironhide left the room before turning to look at the Decepticon. Bumblebee could feel his circuits heat up. This was Prowl's creation? She was just so, so stunning. Even with her armor dented and scratched she held herself with a predatory grace. Her optics bright and her doorwings held high on her back. It was obvious she was proud and wouldn't break easily.

Bumblebee grew confused as he felt a soft burn in his spark. What did that mean? Was he sick, no that couldn't be, if he was Ratchet wouldn't have let him leave. Shaking his head Bee decided that maybe it was a sign. Maybe his loneliness would come to an end. It couldn't hurt, after all the Decepticon came from Prowl, so didn't that make her one of them in a way?

Walking to the cell bars, Bumblebee knelt down and hoped his vocalizer wouldn't go out in static on him.

"Hi, I'm Bumblebee."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hi, I'm Bumblebee."

The Decepticon onlined her optics at the sound of the static filled voice. It was the Autobot she saw before when she was trying to outrun the Decepticons that found her.

She narrowed her optics at him. She had the feeling that she had seen him before, back on Cybertron.

"You look familiar" she said then turned away.

Bumblebee felt his wings droop when she looked away. He had hoped that he would have someone to talk to. Sighing, he walked away from the cell and leaned against the wall of the brig. Glancing back at the Decepticon he could see her optics dimmed as she was lost in her own world. With another sigh, Bee turned on the radio to fill the silence.

Through dimmed optics the Decepticon watched the Autobot out of the corner of her eye. Where had she seen him? She could tell that they were in the same age group so she should at least have some idea who he was. There weren't many transformers younger than her.

Besides there weren't many mechs with a yellow paint scheme and she had no doubt that she had seen him before. But where had she seen him?

 

_So clever whatever_

_I'm done with these endeavors_

_Alone I walk the winding way (And here I stay)_

_It's over no longer_

_And I feel it growing stronger_

_I'll live to die another day_

_Until I fade away_

 

_Why give up, Why give in_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_So I will go on until the end_

_We've become desolate_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_But I will go one until the end_

 

Her doorwings twitched as the music played. Whoever the mech was he certainly had his music turned up loud enough. At least the song was bearable and it was a nice change from the yelling she had to put up with today.

 

_Surround me, it's easy_

_To fall apart completely I feel you creeping up again (In my head)_

_It's over no longer_

_And I feel it growing colder_

_I knew this day would come to end_

_So let this life begin_

 

_Why give up, Why give in_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_So I will go on until the end_

_We've become desolate_

_It's not enough, it never is_

_But I will go on until the end_

 

_I've lost my way_

_I've lost my way_

_But I will go on until the end_

 

As she listened to the song, the Decepticon searched her memory banks for any trace of the yellow mech. She knew she'd seen him somewhere… Aha! There it was. Her optics widened as she replayed the memory. He couldn't be that mech could he?

 

_The final fight I'll win_

_The final fight I'll win_

_The final fight I'll win_

_But I will go on until the end_

 

Bumblebee sighed when the song ended. Glancing over at the Decepticon he wondered if he should try talking to her again when he heard tapping noise.

Looking over Bumblebee saw Ratchet, fists on his hips and tapping his foot.

"Having fun are we" Ratchet rumbled.

Bumblebee gave a sheepish smile. "It was boring" he offered lamely.

Ratchet chuckled. "Go and get some rest Bee. I'll watch our friend for the night."

"I'm not...sczzzzeeee" both bots jumped at the sound of Bumblebee's vocalizer giving out.

Shaking his head, Ratchet made shooing motions with his hands. "Go Bee. I'll be fine."

Bumblebee glanced over his shoulder at the Decepticon before making his way out of the brig.

Ratchet turned to look at the Decepticon sitting still in the cell. Most mechs would think the femme was recharging, but with his advanced sensors Ratchet knew better. He walked to the cell controls and shut the energy off. Then went to the cell and went inside. The Decepticon didn't even twitch. He stood in front of her with his hands on his hips. "I know you're awake" Ratchet stated. "You can behave while I examine you or I could tie you down and do it."

The Decepticon brightened her optics. This medic had sharp senses. She had expected him to ignore her. But seeing how he was a medic who wouldn't go away and she had no desire to be restrained, it was in her best interest to play nice… for now.

"Do what you like, medic" the femme replied. "I'm not in any condition to stop you and it's pointless to damage myself even more."

"Good. Now in order to finish your examination I'll need to knock you out for a while."

Wait knock her out? "I didn't agree…"

"Nighty night."

Everything went black.

* * *

Ratchet watched the femme as her waited for her to regain consciousness. Her repairs had taken longer than he expected. He was surprised by the electrical charge running through her systems.

A high charge could be the result of arousal in a bot if they were being stimulated, but if nothing was done the charge could become painful. Usually if a bot had a high charge they would either interface or let a friend or mate send EMP pulses in them to release the charge. Another way to get rid of the charge was to use excessive amounts of energy. The femme had so much charge in her systems and no way to get rid of it, she had to be in pain.

After getting rid of her charge he checked the welds and finished the systems check he started earlier, but stopped when he realized who the femme's creator was. Then after the tests were complete he removed the dents and scratches in her armor.

He wondered what would happen to the femme now. If what Ironhide had told him was true, she couldn't return to the Decepticons. Optimus would offer her immunity, but would she take it? And if she did would she really be safe around them? Would they be safe with her? And would her presence cause more harm to Prowl's psyche or somehow fix it?

Ratchet listened as the femme's systems came online one at a time. Hopefully now he would get a little chat.

The Decepticon felt her systems come online. The last thing she remembered was having the medic in the cell with her. She onlined her optics slowly. She met the gaze of a very grumpy medic.

"I hope you feel better" the medic said, his tone more than a little haughty.

She narrowed her optics as a growl rose from her throat. First, the medic had the nerve to knock her out and now he was going to get insolent with her?

"Don't you growl at me youngling" Ratchet warned. "You wouldn't stand a chance n your condition and you know it."

Damn this Autobot. "Doesn't mean I wouldn't try" she said. "You're done with my repairs so get out."

Ratchet snorted. "You have some nerve to talk like that to me femme. I'll leave when I'm ready to."

She growled again. This was just wonderful. Now she would have to play the Autobot's games. "And when will you be ready to leave?" she asked.

"When you answer some questions for me" the Autobot replied.

Ahh, another interrogation. "Very well Autobot. I'm not going anywhere so you might as well ask till your spark's content."

"Do you know who I am?"

The Decepticon snorted. "You're the Autobots' CMO, Ratchet. Highly skilled in medical knowledge and known for your temper. I dare you to find any Transformers who haven't heard your name once."

"Ok then. Next question" Ratchet said. "Who's your sire?"

The Decepticon's optics brightened at the question. Grinning she replied "That's a little personal for an interrogation, don't cha think?"

"Just answer the question" Ratchet snapped.

The Decepticon shrugged. "I don't see how it's any of your business, but the answer to your question is no."

"No? I didn't ask you a yes or no question. I asked you who your sire is, you little…" Ratchet began.

"Don't start yelling at me, Autobot" the Decepticon hissed. "My answer is no. Even if I did know who my sire is, I still wouldn't tell you."

Ratchet paused. - _If she did know?-_

"Are you telling me you have no idea who your sire is?" Ratchet questioned.

The Decepticon rolled her optics. "That's what I said, wasn't it? Are you so old you need your audios replaced? If you really want to know who my sire is, why don't you go harass Barricade? Oops, my bad. I meant Prowl."

Ratchet's optics widened. "How do you…"

The Decepticon grinned. "That silver midget that attacked me was very informative. Now do you have any more questions?"

* * *

Bumblebee lay on his berth, looking at the ceiling. It didn't take long for his loneliness to set in again. He thought about what would happen to the Decepticon, but no one would tell him. Optimus was in a meeting with Will Lennox and the rest of the humans on base. He thought about asking Ironhide, but he got the feeling if he did Ironhide would use that as an excuse to unleash his cannons on the Decepticon femme. He had asked Jazz earlier. Jazz's response had troubled him to say the least.

Jazz had been so... so cold. He told Bee that he wanted the Con's armor stripped, her body melted down and thrown in a trash compacter. Jazz wasn't a saint, but Bumblebee never known the saboteur to wish pain onto others. It scared him. Maybe Jazz's disdain for the femme came from the fact Prowl was her creator.

Jazz and Prowl had been together since Bumblebee could remember. Jazz was devastated when Prowl was captured. Optimus had to keep Jazz in the brig to keep him from running off after Prowl. When they learned Megatron had the black and white reformatted into Barricade, it had nearly broken Jazz. Only Optimus' promise to try to take Barricade into custody to fix him instead of killing him had kept Jazz together.

It was easy to understand why Jazz was hurt, but Prowl was back now and the Decepticon _was_ his daughter. Shouldn't she be allowed to stay? Wouldn't Prowl be angry with everyone if they sent his creation away? Bumblebee knew he would.

Bumblebee sighed. Why did he even care? She was just another Decepticon… who was related to the best tactician the Autobots ever had. Besides he didn't even know her name.

Well he did have guard duty today. All day. Maybe he could get her to talk for a little while. Checking his chronometer Bumblebee decided he better refuel before he reported for duty. With another sigh he stood up and made his way to the rec room to start the day.

"Morning Ratchet"

Ratchet turned away from the Decepticon. "Good morning Bumblebee. Your vocalizer is working I see."

Bumblebee shrugged. "For now it is. With my luck it'll just cut out later"

"If it gives you any more trouble come see me" Ratchet called as he left the room.

Bumblebee turned away from Ratchet's retreating form to see the femme staring at him. Bumblebee shuddered as her gaze never left him. It was as if she could see through his armor to see his soft protoform.

"I remember you" the femme finally said.

Bumblebee cocked his head confused. Is that why she had been staring at him? He didn't remember seeing her before. "Remember me? Where would you have seen me, I don't remember you."

"I would be surprised if you did" the Decepticon replied. "I was there when Megatron ripped out your vocalizer."

"You were there?"

She snorted. "Yes. Though I suppose you wouldn't notice after all the energon you lost being smart with Barricade. You're lucky Megatron thought it would be amusing to leave you alive to tease Optimus Prime."

"I… Shzzeeee" Bumblebee choked as his vocalizer decided to cut out again.

The Decepticon cocked her head. "Does that happen often?"

Bumblebee shrugged.

The Decepticon sighed. Now it would be a one-sided conversation if the mech couldn't talk.

"How do you communicate with your team if you voice keeps glitching?" she asked.

Bumblebee shuttered his optics and thought of a way to explain his use of the radio for talking. After thinking for a few minutes Bumblebee face palmed. How stupid was he? All he had to was turn the damn thing on.

The Decepticon listened carefully as Bumblebee played music out of his speakers again. What was this Autobot's problem? She had asked him to explain how he participated in a unit with no real way to communicate, not play on the radio. Listening, carefully she realized that he was picking out parts of the songs and broadcasts to make him understood. He used this method to 'talk' to the people around him.

"You talk through the radio. That is clever, for an Autobot anyway."

Bumblebee chirped at this. The femme had complimented him. An offhand compliment meant to be an insult, sure, but it was still the compliment. Using the radio, Bumblebee asked " _More?"_

The Decepticon smirked. She would indulge this, what was his name; Bumblebee. Besides, she had nothing else to do. Maybe it would be somewhat entertaining.

"Sure why not the hell not, Autobot."

* * *

- _Should I do this?-_

_-I have to. I have to know-_

Prowl walked uncertainly towards the medbay. If anyone would tell him anything, it would be Ratchet. He considered asking Jazz, but after the slight brush-off he received from his mate a few minutes ago in the rec room he knew Jazz wouldn't tell him anything. Ratchet would tell him though. He had to.

After his break down yesterday, Jazz had held him till he fell into recharge. He didn't remember anything else. Except the truth he had been denying for months.

He was Barricade. He didn't choose it, but still… He was haunted by memories, but maybe now he would be able to get through a night without waking up screaming.

Lost in thought, it took Prowl a few minutes to realize he was standing outside of the medbay doors. For a moment, Prowl considered walking away and pretending he never had this doubt, but he couldn't. Not when his spark felt a familiar pull that wasn't his bondmate. He sighed as he thought about the events that made him decide to seek out the grumpy medic for answers.

It was that pull that woke him this morning.

**He onlined to see Jazz staring with concern at him. "Jazz?" he rasped.**

**"It's alright Prowler. I have ta go soon, Prowl. Optimus is havin' a meeting and I can't skip. I'll only be gone for a little while and when I get back we can get some energon 'kay?"**

**Prowl nodded. "Kay."**

**Jazz smiled and put his hand on Prowl's face. "I'll be back soon Prowler. Just get some rest."**

**After Jazz had left, Prowl felt another tug on his spark. He was certain it wasn't his mate. Prowl spent the next three hours lying on the berth trying to remember something from last night. All he could come up with were faces and names of bots he knew. One face in particular stuck out to him. A face and a flash of white armor. Then he felt another pull on his spark. This time it was much stronger, almost as if someone was calling him. As soon as the feeling came, it slipped away.**

**Prowl frowned he knew this wasn't normal and if something was wrong with his spark. Sighing, Prowl got up and decided it was time to meet Jazz in the rec room.**

**Prowl entered the rec room and looked around. He wasn't surprised to see Sideswipe and Jolt in a corner keeping each other 'occupied'. On the other side of the room the Arcees were talking to some of the soldiers on break. The rec room always had someone in it.**

**Prowl checked his chronometer and chuckled to himself when he noticed Jazz was late. Knowing Jazz was never one for punctuality, Prowl decided to get a cube and wait for the extra ten minutes it would take his mate to arrive.**

**Now sitting with his cube, Prowl watched the Arcees as the blue one became agitated. The other two tried to soothe their sister, but she was having none of it.**

**"No!" the blue femme shouted as all eyes turned to stare at what would be the new juicy gossip on base. "This is bullshit!"**

**"Sister please" the pink Arcee begged. "Sit down you're making a scene."**

**"So what? Prime has lost his mind if he thinks I'll…"**

**"What Prime thinks isn't your business" the purple femme cut in. "If he tells you to do guard duty, then you'll do guard duty. Now stop bitching. It's undignified."**

**"I'll bitch as much as I want if I have to waste my time babysitting some Decepticon femme who does nothing but sleep all day!" the blue one yelled.**

**Prowl sat in shock as the purple and pink Arcees dragged their sister out the room. A Decepticon femme, on base? But there was only on femme he knew of and she was…**

**Uncertain, Prowl reached out with his spark. He followed a weak connection on his spark, but was met with a block. Pulling back, Prowl frowned. If he could feel a block, does that mean the pulling on his spark was her?**

**"Prowler?"**

**Prowl turned to see Jazz. Jazz must have come up while he was distracted. If there was a Decepticon on base, Jazz would know. But could he ask him? Prowl hadn't forgotten Jazz's reaction the other day when he learned that.. That he had a child.**

**"Prowl?" Jazz asked. He felt nervousness and unease pouring over their bond in waves. "Prowler, what's wrong? Talk to me, love."**

**Prowl looked over. "Jazz I need you to tell me something."**

**"Anythin' Prowl, ya know that. What's wrong?" Jazz frowned at the question. He could feel Prowl's anxiety through the bond, but he couldn't sense what was bothering his mate so much. It worried him.**

**Prowl locked optics with Jazz. It was now or never.**

**"Jazz, is there a Decepticon being kept on base?"**

**Behind his visor, Jazz shuttered his optics a couple times. He knew it wouldn't take Prowl long to hear about the Decepticon's presence on base. What he couldn't figure out was why that would bother Prowl so much, it wasn't like the Autobots had never had a Decepticon in the brig before. Granted, this time they were on a new planet and the base had humans in it.**

**"Yeah, Prowl. A Decepticon was put in the brig right after we came back from responding to Bumblebee's distress call the other day."**

**"Jazz I have to know. Is the Decepticon a femme? A femme with white armor and doorwings? Please love. I need to know." Prowl begged with wide optics.**

* * *

Prowl sighed as he stood in front of the doors. Jazz had told him not to worry about it. That he was still on light duty and he should use the time to rest. He knew Jazz was worried, but he didn't need rest goddammit. He needed an answer.

"How long have you been standing in front of my door?"

Prowl turned to see Ratchet glaring at him with his typical 'why are all these bots suicidal' look. Prowl vented air quietly as he mentally prepared himself for the conversation he would have with the medic. "I need to talk to you."

"Obviously" Ratchet huffed. "Or you wouldn't be standing in front of my door. What do you want?"

"I would prefer to talk somewhere more private than a hallway."

Ratchet scowled as he watched Prowl fidget. Dimmed optics and lowered doorwings suggested that Prowl hadn't recharged well and was under stress. Stress was the last thing Prowl needed right now, whatever was bothering the mech it wasn't good for him.

"Come on" Ratchet said as he opened the med bay doors and stepped inside. He waited for the doors to close before turning to face Prowl.

"Now tell me what's wrong" Ratchet said gently, losing his gruff tone. He had known Prowl for a long time and even though they tended to get on each other's nerves, he considered Prowl a friend.

"Ratchet you know about the Decepticon on base, don't you?" Prowl asked. Ratchet was eloquently blunt. He knew Ratchet wouldn't dodge the subject. Not with him.

"Yes Prowl. I've been down to examine her. She's been a little beat up, but it's nothing that won't fix itself in a day or two." Ratchet understood what Prowl wanted now.

Prowl was probably feeling the creator bond between himself and the femme. When sparklings are born, they have a bond with their creators. As the sparkling grew closer to adulthood, the bond between child and its' parents would fade away unless the sparkling became injured or was under extreme emotional distress. The femme must be unconsciously calling out to Prowl for comfort through their bond.

"You believe she might be your creation so you want me to describe her to you" Ratchet stated.

Prowl nodded. "Yes."

"She has white armor and large sensory panels on her back. I took a reading of her spark signature. She's yours Prowl."

"She is, she's alive, she's…" Prowl broke off, trembling.

Ratchet wrapped his arms around the shaking black and white.

"What do I do? What do I do Ratchet?"

Ratchet wished he knew.

Prowl continued to tremble in Ratchet's embrace. What was he supposed to do now? His creation, his child was here. She wasn't with the Decepticons. She was alive. The Autobots had captured her.

She was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song is until the end by breaking benjamin


	9. Chapter 9

_-thinking-_

**Flashback**

**:bond:**

* * *

 

"I want to see her."

Shocked, Jazz looked up to see Prowl standing at his office door. Prowl being in his office didn't bother Jazz, what surprised Jazz was that this was the first time Prowl had spoke to him in three weeks.

**Jazz paced nervously. Prowl was supposed to be back hours ago and with his end of the bond closed off, Jazz had nothing to do but worry.**

**At the sound of the door opening, Jazz turned to see Prowl walk into their quarters.**

**"Prowler! There ya are, I was worried." Jazz made to move towards his mate but stopped when the bond opened and he felt a rush of emotion from Prowl; anger, happiness, sorrow, pride, guilt, relief, confusion.**

**Taken aback by the flood across the bond, Jazz sent a pulse of comfort, only to be rebuffed.**

**"Prowler what's wrong?" Jazz asked. "Where were you, I've been worried."**

**"Medbay."**

**Jazz continued to watch Prowl's stoic expression, hoping to catch a hint of what was going on through Prowl's head. "What were ya doin in the medbay?"**

**"I was talking to Ratchet." Prowl answered. "We were discussing the Decepticon we have in custody.**

**Jazz swallowed. He had the feeling that he would regret asking but… "Why are ya interested in another psychopathic Con? We're probably just gonna keep him 'round for interrogation...**

**"That psychopathic Con, Jazz, happens to be the creation you wanted to talk about."**

**...Wait, what? Prowl's creation was in the brig?**

**"Prowl, are ya sure?" Jazz asked, feeling the sense of hurt and betrayal coming back. "I mean it could be just any Con down there."**

**"Yes, Jazz. I can feel the pull on my spark, besides Ratchet has graphs of our spark signatures" Prowl replied, irritation in his tone.** **"Ratchet also told me how he had to take a trip down there because someone pulled her against electric bars."**

**So that was the she Prowl cried for at night. Jazz understood now why Prowl was angry. He had harmed his offspring. He could feel anger and hurt from Prowl. Not only had that but his reaction to Prowl's questions about the Decepticon had hurt Prowl, badly. "Prowl, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."**

**Prowl watched Jazz with a cold glare and replied "No you're not."**

**With that, Prowl had walked to their bedroom and Jazz had stayed up the rest of night thinking of a way to apologize to his bondmate.**

The next morning, Jazz told Prowl he was sorry, but received no answer. Prowl had ignored him ever since. Prowl had even gone far enough to close his side of the bond. It had been three weeks of slow, lonesome torture for Jazz to have his mate be so close, yet so far away from him. And now Prowl was here, wanting _her_.

Prowl watched Jazz as he waited for his mate to respond. He knew he shouldn't have ignored Jazz but he needed to sort through his thoughts and emotions and he couldn't do that while he felt Jazz's bias, not with this. He knew what he wanted to do, but he didn't want to do it without Jazz's support. He remembered how Barricade would scheme and manipulate, he didn't want to feel anything like that. Not again, he didn't want to be without Jazz again.

"Please Jazz, I need to do this. I'm not sure I can do it on my own."

Prowl watched Jazz from the door, after a few moments of silence he turned to leave.

**: Wait. :**

Prowl stopped with his hand on the door. He didn't move as he listened to Jazz cross the room to him. He didn't look over his shoulder as Jazz wrapped his arms around his waist and laid his head between trembling doorwings.

_-My hand is shaking-_ Prowl noted as he waited for Jazz to say something.

**: Why? :**

**: Because, because I remember. The nightmares she...she was in them... :** Jazz clutched Prowl closer as his doorwings began to tremble. Crooning, he encouraged his mate to continue. **: Barricade did..horrible things. But a sparkling, a little sparkling made him, me feel. I, he was cruel. She was trained to kill and ignore all pain. But Barricade, I..he loved her. No matter what, she was worth it. But I only know her through Barricade. I..I just want to see her for myself. I...want that. I… :**

Jazz began to stroke Prowl's doorwings to calm him. "It's alright, love. I understand, I do" Jazz soothed. "I'm not sure I like it, but if that's what you really wanna do, we'll go." If only he could ignore the ache in his spark.

**: You mean it? :**

Jazz chuckled. "Course Prowler. I love ya too much to not mean it." Sending pulses of love and reassurance, Jazz smiled as he felt Prowl relax in his grip. Even though he told Prowl it would be okay, he still worried about what would happen to Prowl when he decided to go to the brig.

"Not to kill the mood, but when do ya wanna do this?" Jazz asked his mate as Prowl extracted himself from his hold.

"Now."

"Right now?" Prowl nodded.

With a sigh, Jazz shrugged. "Lead the way, Prowler."

* * *

_It's the real authentic, Leave ya'll dented, Forget what ya heard If I said it, I meant it_

_Did it for real, While ya'll pretended, Back for more, Startin' the war to end it_

_Raw Rippin' like I'm working a chainsaw, New York to Cali New Jersey to Crenshaw, Speak the gift while you plead the fifth_

_My team is sick We eat, sleep, and breathe this shit, Rough and rugged, Kill 'em soft ,We don't leave one standin' when we breakin' 'em off_

_T_ _akin' a loss? Not a chance in your life If being fresh is wrong, I don't wanna be right_

_Stop, drop, and roll We got soul, Safe to pop off when we lock and load_

 

_So this how we get this done, You can check on the rep, yep, second to none Check on the rep, second to none, yea_

_T_ _his how we get this done You can check on the rep, second to none_

_Check on the rep, second to none, yea This how we get this done You can check on the rep, second to none_

 

Bumblebee looked over to the femme. She had her doorwings folded in as she leaned against a wall of her cell. He had managed to drag her into brief conversations, though he still ended up playing music most of his shift. Bumblebee did take the femme's comment about how she preferred his music to the twins' constant fighting as a compliment.  Bee couldn't help but to feel a little pride that he was the only one the Decepticon would talk to. When anyone else came in she'd just ignore them.

In a way Bee felt glad that he could talk to the Con. He had felt more isolated from his comrades lately and it bothered him. It seemed like everyone had their own problems and didn't have time for the camaro. So Bumblebee had no one to talk to and since he was still recovering from his last encounter with the enemy he spent a lot of time on guard duty.

It wasn't so bad, Bumblebee reasoned. He could play music as loud as he wanted; play videogames, text Sam in class, and try to learn more about the femme in the cell as she caught onto his radio speak when his vocalizer gave out. Speaking of which, Bumblebee could see that she had her optics dimmed, which meant she either liked the song or she didn't hate it. Feeling mischievous, Bee changed the music track.

_See the lights See the party, the ball gowns I see you make your way through the crowd And say hello, little did I know_

_That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles And my daddy said stay away from Juliet_

_And I was crying on the staircase Begging you please don't go, and I said_

_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run_

 

The femme onlined her optics to glare at Bumblebee. He knew she couldn't stand Taylor Swift and yet he had the ball bearing to turn it on. He would have to pay.

"Why you little…" She broke off, flaring her doorwings, and growling at the figures at the door.

Confused at the sudden change of behavior, Bumblebee turned to see what caused her to get so upset.

"Hey Bee," Jazz greeted. "How about you an' me go outside for a bit, while Prowler has a chat with the she-con?"

Bumblebee thought about it. Jazz's request seemed sincere. Glancing towards Prowl, Bumblebee noticed that Prowl's gaze was on the femme. Turning his head, Bee could see that the femme was watching Prowl as well.

– _Well she is Prowl's daughter, what could go wrong? -_ Bee thought to himself. Turning back to Jazz, he answered, "Let's go."

* * *

Prowl sent a silent thank you to his mate as Jazz and Bumblebee left the brig. He couldn't believe it, the child he had as another identity was in front of him. A child that came from his spark, yet he didn't raise her, not really. Swallowing Prowl finally croaked out, "You're alive."

"Of course. Did you think I would let myself be ripped apart for your desertion?" the femme answered. Even as her body began to slowly relax, she stayed alert. The mech before her may be her creator, but he was not Barricade. She didn't think Prowl would lash out like Barricade did at times; still one could never be too sure.

Prowl watched as the femme lowered her doorwings. He knew she was attempting to appear unfazed and he wasn't fooled. She was as unsure of what to do and how to act as he was.

Prowl scanned her body, knowing that under the femme's armor, her protoform would be riddled with scars. Some being left behind from wounds he inflicted.

A wave of guilt poured through Prowl. He had taken an innocent sparkling, his own daughter, and turned her into a murderer. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" the femme asked. "You haven't done anything. Yet."

"I tortured you! I'm your creator and I tortured you! It was my duty to protect you and instead I..I.." Prowl looked at the ground. It was too painful to look at her when all he could see were the gashes and energon covering her body during training sessions.

"You made me strong."

Prowl gaped. "What?" he asked softly.

"You made me strong" the femme repeated. "The torture as you like to call it was necessary. I had to learn to ignore the pain, to not scream or beg for mercy. I had to learn how lie and hide my true motives until the last moment. If I didn't I would have been terminated. You know this, so why feel guilty?"

"Because," Prowl whispered, "I turned you into a monster."

"Maybe" the femme agreed. "But it takes a monster to make a monster."

Bumblebee watched Jazz pace back and forth. Lying in the sun, Bee began to wonder if he did the right thing letting Prowl and the Decepticon femme be alone together. Growing tired of watching Jazz pace, Bee sent a questioning chirp to his friend.

"I'm fine Bee" Jazz responded as joined Bumblebee in lying in the sun. "I'm just' worried about Prowl that's all."

"It's okay Jazz" Bumblebee assured his friend. "Who knows? This may be good for Prowl."

Jazz frowned. "How's it gonna be good for him? What if she's just trying to use him to get outta that cell? Or maybe she's just another reminder of Barricade that's here to get a kick outta haunting him till' he can't take it anymore."

"I'm sure that's not it Jazz. If it was don't you think she would have asked to see him or told us Prowl was her creator instead of waiting for us to bring it up?"

"How would you know?" Jazz snapped. "You don't hear him cry at night Bee! You can't feel the guilt and pain that's constantly eating at him."

"Maybe Prowl feels guilty for leaving her with the Decepticons" Bee tried to assure his friend. "Ratchet says that now Prowl has admitted to having a kid, it should help his recovery."

Jazz sighed. "I know. Sorry I yelled at ya Bee. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

"It's okay Jazz. I know you didn't mean it. I guess if I had a bondmate I'd worry too."

"Don't sound so sad Bee" Jazz laughed. "You'll find someone when you're older. You're too adorable to not like."

"Hey!"

Suddenly Jazz stopped laughing as his visor flashed.

"Prowl!" Jazz jumped up and took off for the brig.

"Jazz wait!" Bumblebee called as he stood to follow the silver mech.

Bumblebee made it to the brig's entrance in time to see Prowl transforming and driving off with Jazz on his heels. Worried he rushed inside the brig to see the femme sitting in her usual spot against the wall, only this time instead of staring at him with her predatory gaze she was staring at the ground.

Walking over to the cell, Bumblebee knelt down so they could be at eye level as the femme looked up to acknowledge him.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He's not Barricade." With that the Decepticon turned her back to her yellow guard.

Only one thought went through Bumblebee's mind as he watched the Decepticon

_-What happened?-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs were second to none by styles of beyond and love story by taylor swift


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mention of non-con

_-thought-_

**:bond:**

**flashback**

_**cybotronian speech** _

* * *

  
Prowl ignored Jazz's cries as he raced across some landscape. He honestly had no idea where he was or where he was going. He knew this was childish. He knew that he shouldn't be running off like this, but he couldn't forget the femme's words; the anger and resentment in which she spat them out. He should have known she'd snap if he persisted in his line of questioning. How could he forget the mercurial personality of his offspring, especially when she was backed into a corner? It was good he left when he did. If he didn't, he may have lashed out at the femme.

His spark would have shattered if he had.

Prowl eventually stopped when he realized he had driven to the ocean. Transforming, Prowl knelt down at the water's edge. He thought about contacting Jazz, but knew his mate would find him soon enough. Right now he had to get his head together.

His young one had sensed his turmoil and guilt from Barricade's memories and had been quick to cut into him as soon as he questioned her motivations. It wasn't how he wanted his first conversation with his creation as himself to go. He knew it would be difficult to adjust to life among the Autobots with his creation here, but he had no idea just how hard it was going to be.

But he couldn't just forget her. She was his and after spending her whole life around the sociopaths and murderers that made up the higher ranks of the Decepticons, she deserved to have a place to go and be secure. However, he knew the other Autobots wouldn't approve. Optimus would be more than willing to let her stay, Ratchet would offer his support, and from what he's heard around base Bumblebee seemed taken with her, but the others, Jazz, they would not be pleased.

The thought of Jazz rejecting her hurt Prowl like no physical wound could. Prowl had considered Jazz's feelings while he thought about his decision to see his offspring. Jazz was angry and hurt that he kept her a secret when he first confronted Prowl. As the days went by the anger turned into regret. Regret that while Barricade was in existence, he had something they both longed for since before the war.

They both wanted a child and before the war they were trying for one. Once the fighting broke out they agreed to put their plan on hold until it was safer to raise a child. And then Prowl was captured and reformatted as Barricade.

Eventually, Jazz's the regret turned to hatred towards the mech that had dared to open Barricade's chest plates. Prowl feared that Jazz would take out that frustration on his offspring. To Jazz she was a painful reminder of what he wanted, but didn't have because Prowl was taken from him.

Prowl wasn't sure how long he kneeled at the water's edge, unresponsive to the world around him. Prowl didn't even twitch a wing at Jazz's quiet footsteps crunching in the sand. "Prowl what happened?"

**: I don't want to talk about it. :**

**: Please love, you're hurtin'. I was worried this would happen. :**

**: I know, but you let me try, despite your concerns. Thank you. :**

**: There's nothin' to thank Prowler. :**

 

* * *

Four days. It had been four days since Prowl came in and she was still unresponsive. Bumblebee felt his doors droop as he watched the femme. He figured out that when she didn't want to be bothered she'd play possum. He wasn't sure how she did it without anyone picking up on her systems, but he was sick of it. He was so sure she was starting to warm up to him, then Prowl came and what little progress he made was lost. Now he was left to wallow in a slow suffocating prison.

No, he would get the femme to talk again. Bumblebee wasn't sure why, but something inside him was saying he had to get the femme to open up.

He walked up to the cell. Once there, he knelt down so he could be at eye level with the Decepticon. There was one problem though. He didn't know how to make the femme pay attention to him.

After thinking about it for a few minutes, Bumblebee began to tap the cell bars. It wasn't the smartest thing to do and the electricity from the bars was starting to sting, but what else could he do? Nothing else seemed to be working. "Are you going into stasis or are you just determined to ignore me?" When he received no reply, Bumblebee walked away from the cell and began to plan for tomorrow's attempt to open the femme up.

Sadly, for Bee tomorrow didn't work, or the day after and the day after that. To Bumblebee's despair it had been two weeks since he had a decent conversation with the femme. With a sigh, Bee began to walk towards the cell. Today was the day, he told himself. It had to be.

"Will you ever tell me something about yourself?" Bumblebee asked, kneeling in front of the cell so he could be at eye level with the femme. He was ready to give up. For two weeks he tried to get the femme to talk to him. All he received for his efforts were curt replies, one worded answers, hours of stony silence and finally the daily 'piss off Auto-scum you annoy me', then more silence.

Again, his attempts to converse with the femme failed. With a sigh Bumblebee stood and began to walk away from the cell trying to ignore the ache in his spark.

_–Am I really so lonely that my spark aches from not talking to a Decepticon?-_ Bumblebee thought.

"Given up, have we?"

Bumblebee's optics widened at voice. Whirling around Bumblebee saw the Decepticon stand tall behind her cell bars. Her optics bore through him with the same predatory glare she had when they first met. Bumblebee could have sworn he felt his spark throb while under her gaze. It left a sort of tingling sensation through his body.

He looked over every inch of her body, her powerful legs, the curve of her hips, the arch of her wings, the tips of the clawed digits, the burning optics. Bumblebee could feel his systems heating up, but continued to look at the femme. Then his cooling system came on.

To Bee's embarrassment, the femme began to chuckle. "See something you like, lil' Bumblebee?" She purred at him.

"I-It's not like that!" Bee sputtered. "Wait a sec, you remember my name?"

"I wouldn't have lasted long if I couldn't remember a bot's name."

"It doesn't seem fair that you know my name and I have nothing to call you by."

"Life's not fair."

"I'll keep asking you until you tell me."

The femme ignored him.

_–Fine if she wants it that way-_

"What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What'syournameWhat'syournameWhat'syournameWhat'syournameWhat'syournameWhat'syourname?"

"Shut up!" The femme snapped.

Bee took a step away from the cell as the femme's voice turned venomous. "You're always asking questions and begging for answers!"

"Tell me this, tell me that. What was it like? Did you have codes on everything?" She mocked. Why did this mech pester her so? If he wanted to sit and play his music that was fine, but she wouldn't tolerate him being nosey.

But perhaps she could gain more insight of the Autobots by playing a game with the little bee. Oh yes, if he was so eager to hear about her exploits, she would give it to him. For a price. "Ask a question, you'll receive a question. Give an answer and you'll receive an answer. Do you accept these conditions?" The femme asked.

Weary, Bumblebee considered his options. Play the femme's game, or go back to the quiet depression that settled over him. It wasn't a hard choice to make.

"What do you want to know?"

"Depends on how much you want to know."

"Everything."

The femme smirked. "Then tell me everything."

* * *

**"You're proud?" He questioned the femme, trying to ignore the churning sensation in his tanks. The Decepticon just twitched her wings in a shrug.**

**"Why not?" she replied. "I had my job and I did it well. I was able to move as I pleased, most of the time, and I only had to answer to three people. I had many reasons to feel proud of my accomplishments."**

**"You did well because you were afraid of what Megatron" he snapped, instantly regretting the words and wishing he could take them back. He watched as the femme flared her wings. He briefly wondered if she wasn't in the cell if she would strike him, but dismissed it.**

**"Maybe I did fear Megatron, but at least I'm not hiding what I am" the femme hissed.**

**"I'm not hiding anything" he defended.**

**A cruel smile twisted her face. "Oh yes you are my creator" she crooned, venom dripping from the words. "Tell me, does your pretty little mate know about your nights spent with Blackout?"**

**He flinched. He should have expected this, he backed her into a corner and now she would do anything to get out of it. All he could do was pretend that the words she was spewing were not tearing him to shreds.**

**He was pretending and failing.**

**She was describing the pain filled nights, of the fights, his losses, Blackout's smug face as he took what he wanted, and the screams. He tried to ignore her, but she wouldn't stop. It was too much. He gasped out an 'I'm sorry' before turning and running out the room as fast as he could.**

Prowl jolted up in the berth. He brought a hand to his face as he thought about the memory replay. It had been two weeks since he had gone to see his creation. His mind replayed the memory of their conversation before he panicked and ran away from base. Jazz had eventually caught up into him and brought him back to Diego Garcia.

Checking his chronometer, the tactician was surprised to find out it was midday. Getting up, Prowl noticed a data pad by the berth he turned it on to see that the duty roster had been changed. Jazz had taken his shift so he could have the entire day off.

That brought a small smile to Prowl's face. He would have to find a way to thank Jazz. Scrolling down, Prowl noticed that there was a small note asking him to see Optimus when he had the time.

Well he was awake now and had nothing else to do, Prowl set the pad down and walked out of his quarters to go talk to the commander.

* * *

Optimus watched Prowl from across his desk as he considered how to approach the subject. He had wanted to wait until Prowl came to him, but something had to be done now. The simple fact was they couldn't keep the Decepticon femme imprisoned forever. She would either have to defect from the Decepticons and remain here with the Autobots, or be executed.

"Prowl, I assume you know why you're here" Optimus started.

Prowl nodded. "You want to discuss my creation and her position among us."

"Yes. I don't expect her to willingly join us, but I would like to give her sanctuary with the Autobots."

"And as your tactician you want my opinion on the matter" Prowl replied apprehensive.

Optimus took note of the rigid posture being displayed by the black and white mech. If he wanted this conversation to end well, he would have to reassure Prowl that no harm would come to the young femme. "I want your opinion as her creator Prowl. Your duty should have no say in this" Optimus said soothingly, hoping to have given the mech some reassurance.

Prowl considered his answer carefully. His battle computer was already coming up with the risks and danger she posed, but if he was honest with himself he couldn't bear to let the Autobots do as they wished with her. His young one had already been through more than a sparkling should.

"She has nowhere else to go and I... I do not wish for her to die. She's still so young...I.." Prowl stopped unsure of how to convey his wish, no his need to have the femme here where he can watch her.

Prowl was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a large hand land on his shoulder. "It's okay Prowl." Optimus said kindly. "I never planned to follow through with an execution. There's too few of us for that. My concern is if I grant her sanctuary, how can I be assured she won't turn on us."

"I'll watch her."

Optimus chuckled. "I know you will and I believe Bumblebee will be happy to assist you. If I didn't know better I'd say he's fallen head over heels."

Prowl chuckled. Optimus knew how to make any bot feel better. "Thank you, sir."

"Anytime my friend." Optimus replied with a final squeeze to Prowl's shoulder before pushing Prowl out of his office. "Now go talk to your child."

"Yes sir!"

* * *

Prowl knew he had to convince his mercurial offspring to accept Prime's offer of sanctuary. He had to. He may have raised her as a Decepticon but he couldn't let her be terminated. It would break him.

Jazz was currently with Bumblebee. That meant it was Jolt's turn as the guard. Knowing Jolt he would be somewhere fragging Sideswipe instead of being at his post. If Prowl was going to move, this was the time to do it. He had purposely waited until nightfall so he wouldn't have to deal with any of the other Autobots.

He already heard some of the comments about the femme being on base, he didn't want to deal with their attitudes if they saw him heading to the brig. Besides, they'd find out about his relationship with the Decepticon soon enough, he didn't need to start the fire that was going to come.

The night air was cool as Prowl crossed the base. He was grateful that very few soldiers outside. When he finally reached the doors of the brig he hesitated.

_-No I will do this-_

With his new resolve, Prowl entered the brig to talk with his daughter. If he had to grovel, so be it. When he entered the holding area, Prow wasn't surprised that Jolt wasn't at his post. Instead he saw the femme standing with her back to the bars.

"You've come back" she stated.

"Yes."

"You're not surprised that my guard isn't around." It was another statement.

"Everyone on base is aware of their behavior."

"But you're not here to discuss their behavior, are you?"

"No" Prowl answered.

"Then why are you here?"

Prowl took a deep breath to steady himself. This had to work. "Prime is more than willing to offer you sanctuary among the Autobots."

"So?"

"So… You wouldn't have to stay in that cage. You'd be able to have a chance for a real life here."

"Maybe I like it in my cage."

"You don't. We still have the parental bond between us, I can feel your desire to be let out."

"What if I decided that I wanted to be somewhere else?"

Prowl felt his insides freeze. She was testing him, his sincerity. "Where would you go? Don't you dare tell me you're going back there. _**Mer**_ …"

_**"Stop"**_ she hissed, easily slipping into the ancient language. She would not hear it, refused to hear the name only her creator would whisper to her as he held her close to his spark as a sparkling. The name only he was allowed to call her in privacy, away from the presence of others. Few knew it and only two mechs spoke it.

It was silly to guard her name the way she did, but it was hers. If the wrong person knew it, they could easily bend her to their will. It was in her coding after all.

_**"Why, why should I stay?"** _

_**"You'd be safe here."** _

_**"Safe?"**_ the femme laughed. **_"Safe from whom? Sideways; he's dead. Blackout; dead. Grinder; dead. Who's left on the list; Starscream, Megatron? Would your Autobots keep me safe from them?"_**

**_"I…"_** How was he supposed to answer that?

**_"And who knows what your Autobots would do? Not all of them will be happy to see me walking around, you know. What's going to happen if they all attack me?"_ **

**_"I'll protect you."_ **

**_"Really?"_ ** the femme laughed again, only bitter this time. _**"Even if my enemy was your pretty little mate?"**_

**_"I…"_** How could he answer that? Jazz was his bondmate, his other half, but this femme was his daughter. She came straight from his spark. How could he choose?

**_"I…"_** Prowl tried again. He brought his hand to his head as he felt a processor crash coming. However, something stopped his hand. Looking up, Prowl saw his femme in front of him, the only thing keeping him from wrapping his arms around her and bringing her close to his spark were the bars of the cell. The femme had reached out to grab his wrist as he was distracted by his thoughts.

She looked at Prowl for a long moment. It was confusing and more than a little spark-breaking to watch this mech fight his glitch. She'd never known Barricade to have a glitch. Is this what her creator had been reduced to?

**_"Don't answer that"_** the femme murmured as she began to send small pulses to soothe her creator.

They stayed like that for what seemed like forever, both unsure of what to say next. Prowl felt his body relax as the pulses eased his processor ache.

The femme just stood there comforting her creator. She wanted to be angry with this mech, she wanted to hate him, but Prowl was Barricade. Barricade was Prowl. As much as she wanted to deny it the truth was that no matter what name he took or what personality he was operating on, he was still her creator.

And without fresh energon, she wouldn't last long, but there was more to it than that. She needed someone…familiar. She needed Prowl.

_**"Do you really want me to stay?"** _

_**"Yes"**_ Prowl replied, placing his other hand on top of the hand holding him. **_"I really do."_**

****_**" ** ** _Then I'll stay."_****** _ ** **


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: minor violence, brief mention and hint of interface, use of IDW characters. why you ask? because i can

The femme followed Prowl has they walked around the Autobot base. She had to admit that it felt nice to stretch her legs after being kept in that dingy little cell. The sun felt so delightful on her armor, maybe she could convince Prowl to let her stay someplace where it never rained so she could enjoy the sunshine. She glanced over at Prowl. He was tense, but then again she couldn't blame him.

Once Optimus Prime had granted her some amount of freedom, quite a few people were upset. She chuckled at the memory of the looks of shock that twisted the Autobots' faces. She decided the looks of shock and outrage from the small motorcycle femmes and the twins were boring. The annoyed look on Ironhide's face was an expected reaction. The good doctor Ratchet managed to keep his facial features neutral, but it didn't take a genius to see he was amused. The two idiots that were always off fragging each other honestly looked like they could care less that she was now free to wander the base with an escort. She couldn't decide if she was amused or disgusted that Bumblebee looked thrilled to have her stay, the little pest. Her favorite reaction was Jazz though. The midget didn't object, oh no he wouldn't think of it. Prowl was his world, he'd do anything for her creator. But that didn't hide stop the wave of silent anger that poured off of him.

She wandered if she was the only one that noticed it.

"…Were you listening?"

"Hmm..." the femme was brought out of her musings as Prowl turned to address her.

"I said let's go to my office so we can discuss your stay here." With a nod of the femme's head the two continued in silence. However one thing did plague Prowl's mind. Yesterday when he went to see the femme it was obvious she was upset with him and yet she helped him avoid a processor crash. He turned it over in his head several times and couldn't figure out why would she do that? He wanted an answer. "Why did you stop me from crashing last night?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do" Prowl said, voice firm. "You knew I was heading for a processor crash and you stopped it. Now tell me, why did you stop me from crashing?"

The femme considered her answer carefully. She could try to ignore him, but Prowl was persistent. "It would have made you appear weak. That would in turn make me look weak. I can't afford weaknesses."

Prowl cast a sidelong glance at the femme. It wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but it was the one he was expecting. She had been raised to have no weaknesses, to show no fear or pain. It would take time to show her that she didn't need to be cold and ruthless to survive among the Autobots.

"You've been with the Decepticons too long" he finally replied.

The femme shrugged. "You're the one who taught me that."

"You're right. I'll have to work hard to teach you otherwise."

"You should focus on dealing with your memory replays before trying to teach me something else" the femme replied loftily.

Prowl stopped and turned to face the former Decepticon. "How did you know…?"

"The parental bond" the femme replied, tapping her chest. "The stronger the memory, the more you project."

A wave of sorrow passed through Prowl. He already failed at being a parent once and here he was failing again. _-No. I will not fail. She will be safe here. She has to be safe here, it's the only way I can make her stay.-_

"I'm sorry, I'll try to…" He was cut off by his comlink ringing. "Excuse me" Prowl said before answering the comm.

The femme waited for Prowl to finish his call. She could tell that he wasn't pleased by the way his doorwings began to arch.

Muttering a curse, Prowl closed his comlink. He knew this was coming, he just didn't think word would get around so soon.

"Problems?" the femme asked, her optic bridge raised.

"Galloway is having a fit and has demanded a meeting with all officers."

"Let me guess, he found about little ol' me."

"Unfortunately. We'll have to wait in my office until a new escort can be found."

"Ahh, the joys of probation."

"It's not probation. It's to ensure your safety while the personnel on base get use to your presence."

"No, it's to make sure I behave myself and don't stab you in the back" the femme replied smoothly, a slight edge in her tone.

Prowl didn't correct her.

The two doorwingers headed for Prowl's office. As they were rounding the last corner the femme finally said, "I'm guessing that lil' Bumblebee will be my escort, correct?"

Prowl didn't miss the caution in her tone. Muttering a 'perhaps' he decided to file it way for future reference. After entering the office, Prowl narrowed his optics at the impudent femme who dared to sit in his chair and put her feet on his desk. She even dared to look at him with an all too innocent look on her face. Huffing, he decided to ignore the white femme, she was only teasing and it wouldn't do for him to become annoyed with her.

* * *

She was bored. Prowl was just slowly pacing back and forth. Back and forth, back and forth, it was driving her mad.

She almost wished that  lil' Bumblebee would come soon. He was entertaining. Already she was thinking of ways to make his plating crawl. Oh what fun she could have. The little naive thing wanted her past she'd give it to him. With all the dirty details that would give him nightmares. Plus it wouldn't hurt to exaggerate in places just to see the look of horror she could bring to that face.

Then again, the scout was probably just looking for confirmation that what he was raised to believe was right. That the Autobots were right and the Decepticons were wrong. What would unsettle the little Bumblebee more, horrific images based off exaggeration of Decepticon cruelty, or the basic truth of what her life was? Then as if her thoughts summoned him, Bumblebee walked through the door.

Bumblebee felt chills go down his spine from the predatory look the femme was giving him, while his spark warmed under the gaze. The contrasting sensations made him shiver. Then a throat was being cleared and Bumblebee looked away from the amused femme to look at Prowl.

Prowl arched an optic ridge at the camaro. Perhaps he should keep an optic on this new behavior the scout was showing around the femme. "You're to stay with her until I'm done with Galloway. I'll be back shortly." With that the tactician left and Bumblebee was alone with the femme.

Silence filled the room. She was still watching him, waiting. "Uh… I guess we're going to be here awhile." Bumblebee nervously muttered.

The femme felt a door flick in annoyance. The scout was nervous, this wouldn't do. She pointed to the empty chair in front of the desk. "Sit and relax. I'm not going to bite."

"I know that." Bee replied as he heeded the femme's command. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

Bumblebee paused for a moment. There were a lot of things he thought about when it came to the femme. "Well…" He finally said, "Your childhood I guess. I told you a bit about mine, so I was hoping you'd tell me some of yours."

The femme regarded the yellow mech carefully. It was true that it was her turn to share, however she wasn't sure how much she wanted to tell and how honestly. The mech had seemed to be honest with her so far and she had no reason to lie. Primus why couldn't she think of the plans she made that were designed to make the mech's protoform crawl and give him tales that would surely haunt his recharge cycle.

"Very well." The femme answered, lowering her feet to the floor. "My childhood isn't like how you imagined, I bet. Are you sure you want to know about it?"

"I wouldn't have asked, if I didn't want know." Bumblebee replied.

The femme smirked. "Alright, I should start then shouldn't I? Needless to say, I was born among the Decepticons. Prowl had been reprogrammed by Barricade by then."

"Did you know he was originally an Autobot?" Bee interrupted.

"No, I didn't find out until I hacked Soundwave's private files a week after he reverted back to Prowl and left the ship. So to me he was Barricade first and Prowl second. Now Barricade was my primary care giver. When he had to leave for shifts or missions he would usually leave in the care of Soundwave or the seekers."

"The seekers I get. Ironhide told me that seekers are protective of the young placed in their care, but why would he leave you with Soundwave?"

She shrugged. "Soundwave could be trusted." She narrowed her optics at the insolent thing. "Why do you have a problem with that?"

"No not all!" Bumblebee amended, hoping he hadn't offended the femme too badly.

Tension filled the air between the two. Bumblebee wasn't sure if he should try to start the conversation again or not. After a few more seconds of awkwardness, Bee resigned himself to another quiet hour with the femme.

The two sat in silence for what seemed forever.

"How old were you when you began your Autobot training?" the femme said suddenly.

Bumblebee was taken surprised by the question. He didn't expect the femme to talk again; usually she'd sit and act like she was in recharge when she was done interacting with him. This was new.

"I started basic combat training when I was a fledgling in my second frame." Bee answered. "When did you start?"

"I'm not sure" she replied. "I know I was young, I believe I was a youngling, though my frame may not have matched it."

Frame not matching? That didn't make sense. "That doesn't make sense."

The femme flicked her doorwings in a shrug. "Barricade upgraded my sparkling and youngling frames as quickly as he felt safe to."

"What, why?" That was disturbing, a sparkling should have each body upgrade every two to three vorns to keep the spark and natural development process healthy. Too many upgrades too fast was dangerous.

"Because as long as I was in childhood frames I was vulnerable. I did spend quite a few vorns in the final stage fledging form to allow my mind to mature and finish off my training."

"What were they training you for?"

"Black Ops."

"Black Ops?"

"Infiltration, sabotage, my specialty was assassination. My other skills involved scouting, and interrogation." The femme answered.

"Why so many?"

"The more skills you have, the more prepared you are. Sometimes my targets had vital information I needed before I could kill them."

"That makes sense" Bumblebee said quietly, taking it all in while fighting down a wave of sickness. It was hard to imagine what kind of training the femme had to go through to be ready for Black Op missions as soon as she was an adult. "What was the training like?"

The femme regarded him quietly. That wasn't the reaction she was expecting. How would she answer him? Should she answer? Yes, why not, she had all the time in the world to tear this mech apart and enjoy every last second of it.

A feral glint came to the femme's optics as she answered the question. "It was in short painful. First, I had to build a tolerance for pain. After that, the rest was fairly simple."

"Build your pain tolerance." Bumblebee repeated, feeling sick. "They tortured you."

The femme snorted. "Twisting my arms and doorwings isn't torture." Oh no, those things were not torture. There were worse than physical pain. "Those were child's play when it came to the shock sticks. The real trick was learning how to rewrite my thought processes to neutralize hackers. After that, I was introduced to some effective interrogation techniques. I had to go through them before I was taught how to use them."

"Why?" Bumblebee croaked out, feeling deep down he didn't want to know. But she was talking and that was worth something, right?

"So I would understand firsthand how useful the techniques were and the effect they had on someone mentally and physically. It's ignorance not to know. You shouldn't give pain until you understand how painful it truly is."

"That's…." He couldn't find words to describe it. That was cruel on so many levels. How could a sparkling go through that? How could Prowl let her go through that? While he was running around dodging caretakers and being cradled to warm bodies, she was being prepped to be a weapon.

He couldn't stop his feelings of sympathy or his desire to make life on base easier to the femme. His thoughts must have shown on his face, because the femme hissed at him and turned away. Her body stiff and doorwings held high in irritation.

She looked away from the annoying scout. She didn't feel like talking anymore and said so.

They sat there in silence for over an hour. Bumblebee began searching radio stations to play some music when the femme abruptly stood. "I'm going to find my quarters, you can stay here or you could help me. Either way I'm leaving."

"Won't Prowl be angry if he finds out you left his office?" Bumblebee asked. He already knew where the femme would be staying, but he wasn't sure if he should take her or let Prowl do that himself. He didn't think he would get in trouble for showing her the way, but then again… "Prowl did say he would be back."

"He said you have to stay with me, he never said we had to stay here." The femme replied. "So lil' Bumblebee, are you going to sit there, or are you going to escort me to my quarters?"

* * *

Prowl sighed as he trudged down the hallway back to his office. Something had to be done about Galloway. The human had spent the better part of two hours ranting about how he should have been notified that the Autobots were letting an ex-con on base. Next time the twins decided to play a prank on the liaison he would consider looking the other way.

He finally reached his office, but then he opened his door and found the office empty. Where did they go? _: Bumblebee where are you? :_

_: Sorry Prowl, I'm outside your daughter's quarters. She wanted to see them and…:_

Prowl cut him off. _: It's fine, I'll be there shortly. :_

With another sigh, Prowl left his office and started the trek down to the quarter area of the base. After a few minutes, Prowl turned a corner and saw Bumblebee leaning against the wall.

"Prowl," Bumblebee said as the tactician came close. "I'm sorry we left without telling you. She said she wanted to see her quarters and before I knew it she was out the door and..."

Prowl held up a hand to stop the younger mech. "It's alright Bumblebee, you're dismissed for the night."

"Alright, night Prowl," Bumblebee said as he passed by the older mech.

Prowl watched the scout go. He felt annoyance and small sense of turmoil coming from the femme. He knew something had disturbed her and he had to fix it. The only question was how. He thought about pressing the chime for the quarters. He dismissed it though, he knew she wouldn't open the door if he did, so he opened the door and went inside.

One glance at the femme and it was extremely obvious something was on her mind. She was just standing in the middle of the room; her doorwings arched high in agitation. Prowl hummed low to get her attention.

The femme turned to look at him over her shoulder, exhaustion in her optics.

"When was the last time you refueled?" Prowl asked instantly concerned. Why didn't he notice this sooner?

"Yesterday" The femme replied. "I'll refuel in the morning. Right now, I think I'd like to recharge, it's been a long time since I've had a proper berth, you know." She finished with a small smirk.

Prowl nodded. "If you need anything just com me."

"I know, I know," the femme said waving him off. "I suppose I'll see you in the morning."

With that said, Prowl left the femme's quarters and began to trek to his own quarters, where his mate was waiting patiently for him.

* * *

Prowl entered his quarters and wasn't surprised to hear music going full blast and Jazz spread out on the couch, bobbing his head to the beat.

… _Front to the back then side to the side. Then we head back to my crib for the night_

_That's how it goes down, all night long._ _She whispered in my ear, said she loves my song._

_T_ _his Is Why I'm Hot,? she got it on her phone_ _Top 10 download, number one ringtone._

_I'm in my zone, tell me what's good._ _What it be can't say I'm what you want_

_But I got what you need, all night, it's all right_ _We can dance but you gotta keep it up a lil' somethin'_

 

_Like this, like this, like this, like this_ _Like this, like this, like this, like this_

_Baby do ya want it like this, like this, like this, like this_ _Like this, like this, like this?_ _Girl tell me if you want it like this_

 

_If you want to you can back it up_ _You say you like it rough, won't you let me smack it up?_ _Palm on ya ass, that's if you let me touch…_

 

Prowl felt one of his doorwings twitch. He didn't mind when Jazz played this music, but this was ridiculous. The music was way too loud and the lyrics crude, though Jazz could play worse songs. Prowl was sure the only reason no one in the hall could hear it was the soundproofing in the walls.

… _Homie don't act like you know what I mean oh See I'm the freshest motherfucka on the scene oh_

_Back of the club all night long_ _Gran Marnier, pop a case of the Dom_ _Shorty says she love it when I let her call me Sean_ _So if you really down baby we can get in on_

_Like this, like this, like this, like this_ _Like this, like this, like this, like this_ _Baby do ya want it like this, like this, like this, like this…_

 

_**: Jazz :** _

Jazz looked up to see his bondmate in front of the door a look of worn patience on his face. Jazz grinned; he hadn't messed with Prowl all day and now seemed a perfect opportunity.

**: Hey babe, wassup? :**

… _Gimme gimme, gimme gimme gimme gimme Gimme gimme, gimme gimme gimme gimme…_

 

Prowl's optic twitched. **: Jazz, could you turn that off? :**

**: Now why would I do that? :** Jazz teased.

_Gimme that, all of that, break it down Girl, shake it up, now drop it to the ground_

_You're way too high, go a lil' lower Now baby beat it up like Rocky Balboa_

 

**: Jazz :**

**:Prowler :**

**: Please? :**

Jazz laughed. **: Alright anythin' for you:** Jazz stood to turn the sound system off.

_If you like what you see then you gotta keep it up a lil somethin' like this…_

 

Jazz turned the sound system off. Prowl vented air in relief. Now he could finally relax.

Jazz chuckled as he felt Prowl's relief. "Long day, lover?" he crooned.

"Very."

"I can fix that." Jazz promised as he went to press his chassis against Prowl's.

Prowl moaned when Jazz began to tease his doorwings with magnetic pulses. "Don't tease" Prowl groaned, his systems heating up. Just how Jazz turned his exhaustion into arousal so quickly, he'll never know. But damn, it felt good.

Jazz chuckled as he watched Prowl jerk and groan as he played with the sensitive appendages. Primus, he loved watching Prowl when he was caught in the throes of pleasure. **:Like that? :**

With a growl, Prowl hauled Jazz up and began walking to their bedroom. "Berth. Now." Prowl growled in a husky tone, nipping at Jazz's audio causing Jazz to shiver.

"Yes lover," Jazz purred in anticipation.

* * *

**He growled as he fixed his plating. Blackout had gone too far this time. These occasional trysts, if he could call them that, had gone on too long. At least they were bearable. This had actually been the first time in twelve vorns since he had seen Blackout.**

**No matter how much Blackout degraded him, he refused to be mocked. During tonight's encounter Blackout had darkly whispered how luscious she looked and how he wondered what it would take to make her scream. Needless to say, he wasn't the only one to leave the berth with dents and scratches.**

**Another growl escaped his throat. Blackout would pay for his insolence. He had it coming, but now he would make sure the helicopter screamed for mercy. A smirk lit his face. Yes, maybe he could employ Frenzy for the fun.**

**He knew she would enjoy it.**

**Speaking of his creation she was late. He knew she completed her mission several cycles ago. He didn't care that she was in an adult frame she was young and was to report to him after every Black Ops assignment.**

**The door opened, he turned his head to see the white form stride in and close it. She appeared to be undamaged, but that didn't explain where she was.**

" **You're late." He snapped.**

**She flicked her sensor wings in nonchalance. "You were busy so I decided to go somewhere else until you were finished."**

**He growled, she was not getting out of it that easy. He took great pains to make sure she made it to an adult frame he would not watch her jeopardize her life for a mindless pleasure. "You were back six joors ago. I've only been 'busy' for one." He narrowed his optics at the femme. "What have you been doing?"**

**A pregnant pause filled the room. "Nothing." She replied.**

**He could sense the hesitance in her voice. Whatever she was doing, she didn't want him to know about it. A wary curiousness came upon him. What was she hiding? It was rare for her to conceal things from him. Normally, he would let it go, but this was out of line. She was late in coming back.**

**After Blackout's comments he had started to worry what would happen to the femme if he wasn't there. She was agile and quite deadly and he personally knew several mechs on base who found her desirable. He knew she could defend herself, but if she was outnumbered and he wasn't there…**

**He had to know where she was.**

" **You're lying."**

" **I am not," the femme replied, her voice still hesitant, tone becoming defensive.**

**He knew something wasn't right. She flinched as he moved towards her. He felt a little proud that she stood her ground when it was obvious she wanted to be anywhere but here. She flinched again as he began to scan her systems.**

**He felt rage build as he ran the scan. According to his sensors she was perfectly fine. However, her energy levels were lower than normal. Deepend the scan to find the cause of her energy depletion. He was not pleased to find that her energy was low because her body was still recovering from an overload.**

**He stopped the scan as shock and anger filled him. Someone had…**

" **Who was it?" he demanded.**

" **Who what?" the femme replied as she kept her optics away from him.**

**He grabbed her chin and forced her face towards him. In the dim lighting he could barely see the faint scratches on her shoulders, doorwings, and hips. By cocking her head, he could see denta marks on her neck.**

**He gripped her faceplates hard enough to leave dents. "Who were you with?" he demanded. He watched as her optics flickered with defiance. They stood for several long moments, neither willing to back down.**

**Then the femme lowered her doorwings in submission. "Deadlock."**

**He snorted. He should have known. Ever since Turmoil's group came to base, Deadlock had taken an interest in the femme. Especially once he heard about her success in Black Ops.**

" **I hope you enjoyed yourself," he rumbled as he let go of her face and stepped back. "Cause it's the last time he'll touch you."**

" **You can't control that!" the femme snapped. "Besides at least I'm not being used as a pleasure drone!"**

**Rage burst through him. Next thing he knew his creation was on the ground trying to stop the flow of blue blood that was spilling from a wound on her chest.**

Prowl's cooling fans were on high as he jolted awake. He stared at the ceiling, trying to inhale steadily to cool his systems.

"Prowler, you okay?"

Prowl turned his head to see Jazz peering at him sleepily. "I'm fine, love. Go back to sleep."

Jazz frowned. "It was another memory replay, wasn't it?"

"Yes" Prowl replied, knowing it would be pointless to try to hide it from his mate. "I'm fine now, go back to sleep." He waited till he was sure Jazz was in recharge again before sighing. He thought the memory replays were fading, but it appeared he was to suffer from more disheartening nights in the future.

With another sigh, he began to process of heading back into recharge again. At least he managed to convince the femme to stay. He knew it would be difficult to get to know her. But he had to try.

She expected him to be like Barricade, but he wasn't. He was Prowl. He just hoped that would be good enough.

It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> song used: like this by mims


	12. Chapter 12

The femme stared at the ceiling of her new room. It felt like forever since she last had a berth and room to call her own. Well as close to her own as she was going to get on Earth. She had to have been up for several hours since her doorwings had begun to ache. She could have checked her chronometer for the time, but honestly she didn't care enough to actually do it.

How long had it been since everything felt so, so still? It was strange, disconcerting. Among the Decepticons it was rarely this quiet. Even when she was little and Barricade would hold her there was noise. Granted, most of the time it was just his spark, but it was still noise. Now, it was just silence and she hated it.

She moved to sit on the edge of the berth. She had to leave the room. It was… it was just cramped. The air too stale, not enough room, something, everything was wrong here. She stood and hurried out the door. However, once out she didn't know what to do with herself. What could she do? Prowl insisted she wasn't to wander the base by herself. He would have to deal with it later she didn't feel like looking for him.

She started to wander the halls aimlessly. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to distract her from the walls that were slowly closing in.

Outside. She needed to get outside. Away from the base, away from the Autobots, away from these disgusting little life-forms that infested the planet. She hurried through halls of the main base until she found herself at the entrance.

Stepping out into the dark of the early morning she noticed that it would be some time before dawn arrived. Perfect. She shuttered her optics and vented deeply. It had been a long time since she felt claustrophobic and it was never pleasant. It was …humiliating.

It was ridiculous that after all she had done, she let herself be overwhelmed by, by nothing. But then again that was her problem. There was nothing here. No purpose, no place, no... well friends was never the best word to describe her peers. There weren't even any symbiotes to tease. She didn't have the calming presence of Soundwave and more importantly no Barricade.

Prowl and Barricade were in essence the same mech and looked similar enough, but they didn't act the same. They both were standoffish, strategic thinkers, beyond that they were two different people. Why was she here?

- _Because I have nowhere else to go.-_

She could have stayed on the Nemesis. No, she was wise to leave. Megatron knew how to hold a grudge and after Soundwave, subtle as he was, hinted at the fate of traitors and beings associated with them, she knew it was too dangerous to stay.

The dawn was still some time away. It was nice to be away from everybody. She was getting tired of the smell of the base. It didn't smell bad, but it was a lingering odor that was just there like the smell of a nitrogen ocean, or energon seeping from the dead and wounded.

How long had it been since she left the Nemesis? She spent several months wandering until she ran into the hunters. That was when she first saw the yellow scout, Bumblebee.

"Bumblebee" she said out loud, feeling the syllables in her mouth. Such a strange name. And yet she almost wanted to say it again, wanted to feel her mouth move to form the syllables. Stupid. She was letting herself get carried away.

The yellow mech was different though. He was the only one who wouldn't let her be. He fell into word traps easily and didn't seem to realize when she was mocking him. He just had this sense of innocence around him.

It was hard to find innocent things among battle hardened warriors. The hatchlings were innocent, while they were young. She quietly enjoyed their openness. She got many laughs from the comments or questions they'd blurt out and the caretakers' awkward reaction. Out of the mouths of babes, the humans say. She had spent some time with them. The ones who showed high intelligence and great agility were sent to Black ops. They were given a mentor and trained. She watched many of the hatchlings trained, but had only mentored two herself.

Barricade had helped with that.

Now that she thought about it, when was there a time in her life that Barricade was not there? Watching, helping, teaching, even punishing. It didn't matter now because he wasn't here, Prowl had replaced him. No, Prowl was first, Barricade came second. It was still difficult to accept.

Now she was on her own. She had been for awhile. How long had it been since she left the nemesis? It couldn't have been six months, could it? No, she didn't think so. It was most likely close to that, but not there.

The dawn was finally coming on. She wasn't fond of this planet, but she had never seen something like the soft light of the Earth's sun rising. She had once been to a solar system that held three suns. However, she never made planet fall. Seeing the suns as the giant stars they were and watching them rise were two different things. Funny how that was.

Her doorwings twitched when they picked up the EM field of an Autobot. She kept her back to the entrance as she continued to watch the sky. None of them would attack her and if they were foolish enough to try she could easily handle them.

"Nice out here, isn't it?" Jazz's smooth voice floated from the entrance.

The femme flicked her wings in annoyance. She didn't have anything to say to this mech. She supposed she should act civil to him, but really what was the point? Right now she wanted to be away from everyone as she put herself together. Not be stuck with the annoying midget.

"What do you want?" the femme snapped. Out of all the worthless bots in this place, this one had to come and ruin the mood for her?

"You're not supposed to be out here by yourself." Jazz replied.

She growled. "So what? It's not like there's anything to do inside."

"You were doing something out here? It looked like you were staring out into space from my viewpoint."

"Shut up." The femme said in an attempt to disengage the mech. What was wrong with this mech? Didn't he have better things to do than to harass her all morning? If only she could wipe the floor with him. Maybe he'd learn to mind his business then..... Wait. Knocking around this sorry scrap heap, that wasn't a bad idea. Not bad at all.  "Is there a training room in the base?"

An optic ridge raised itself behind the dark visor. "Why yes there is. Feel like lettin' loose a bit?"

"You could say that." The femme replied with a dangerous smirk. "I'll need a partner though."

A laugh that matched the violent intentions of the femme came from the silver saboteur. "Let's go."

* * *

Prowl hurried to the medbay as fast as his legs could carry him. It was suffice to say that having Ratchet comm. him to say that he had two minutes to retrieve his bondmate and bastard offspring before he turned them into scrap was not a pleasant way to start the morning.

He should have seen this coming. He knew the femme wasn't comfortable here and with Jazz's…insecurities, of course they would clash. To put each other in the medbay though, was just too far to be ignored.

Prowl stopped outside the doors to Ratchet's lair. With an intake of air to steady himself Prowl stepped through. Upon entering, his optics found the femme lying on a berth to the left. She was sitting on the edge of the berth, her optics were dim.

Prowl went to her as swiftly as he dared. She didn't move. Not even when he was standing two feet away from her. Prowl chirred a note of concern. That got her attention. The femme looked up at him with an unfocussed gleam in her optics. "What do you want?"

"Are you all right?" The tactician asked.

The femme shrugged. "Your slagger of a medic has me doped up on painkillers right now. I'd swear I was buzzed if I wasn't sitting in here."

Prowl fought back the urge to flick his wings in annoyance. He remembered Barricade had a hell of a time keeping high grade away from his offspring after Deadlock introduced her to it. It was one of the reasons he hated the mech. Although he couldn't entirely blame that pit-spawn for her more unsatisfactory habits. According to the memories, she had picked up a few other addictions while working on her undercover mission to get close to Senator Ratbat and murder him. Prowl shuddered as his cortex brought up several memory files on what Barricade had to do to the femme to break her of all the unsavory habits.

"How did this happen?" Prowl asked, trying to verbally reach the femme.

She gave a grunt and a shrug. "I got bored. He was around and offered to help. We got…carried away."

"Carried away?" Prowl parroted back.

"That's what I said."

"Carried away, how can you say you got carried away?" Prowl asked, worry, desperation, frustration, spark ache, apparent in his tone. "It looks like you tried to kill each other. The humans getting off of the night shift had to alert Prime about the fight in the training room. It took Ironhide several warning shots to get you to separate from each other. You're sitting here, with repaired doorwings, foot, arms and an optic and you're telling me its cause you got carried away!" Prowl's voice had risen in intensity with each sentence.

The femme visibly flinched from the yell Prowl's voice had turned into at the last comment. It sounded like a reprimand. From Barricade. "I'm… I'm sorry, it was not my intent to worry you. I only meant to relieve some of my frustration and Jazz was just there."

Prowl rubbed at his faceplate. "I know. I know. I've sent for Bumblebee so he may watch you. I need to talk with Jazz. Will you be alright?"

"Perfectly fine." The femme replied as she hopped off the berth and limped to the door. Prowl thought about calling her back, but really what was the point? She wouldn't listen anyway. Instead it was time to have a certain conversation with his bondmate.

* * *

The femme had managed to limp out into the hallway. Now there was deciding where to go. It's not like she had many options on base and leaving base wasn't even a choice. True, she had been considering it before Prowl came in, but in reality she wouldn't last long. The only safe place in this damned base was her quarters. The room she fled from just hours ago.

As she walked to her room, she listened to the echo of her footsteps. It was a soothing pattern. It almost reminded her of when she was a sparkling and Soundwave would tap a rhythm to soothe her when Barricade would go away. Then the echo changed. The femme stopped near a corner to listen. Someone was in the hallway walking in her direction. - _Shit_.-

Bumblebee hurried to the medbay after receiving the summons from Prowl. Already the stories of the fight between Jazz and the ex-Con were going through the base. The knowledge chilled him. He had known Jazz for most of his life and relied on him as a friend and for guidance.

However, it disturbed Bee that he was mostly concerned for the femme's welfare. After hiding for months on Earth and being fuelled with prisoners' rations, there was no way she could be in peak physical condition. Granted, Jazz probably wasn't at his best either with being brought back to life and helping Prowl deal with his issues, but he was older and more experienced.

Bumblebee turned the corner and there she was in the middle of the hall. Her red gaze fixed on him. Bumblebee stopped. They were face to face with only a few inches separating them. The scout felt the burn in his spark and a chill run down his spinal strut again. Why did this happen around the femme? Granted, with her red optics, clean white armor, and fairly large doorwings, she was attractive. Very attractive. - _Focus Bee. Focus.-_

"Are you, Are you okay?" Bumblebee forced out, trying to hide his arousal.

The femme cocked her head. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I heard about what happened between you and Jazz."

"Does everyone already know about it?" the femme asked.

Bumblebee noted that there was no edge or sarcasm in her voice. She almost seemed serene. Looking closer, Bee could see that her optics were slightly glazed. How much painkiller was she on?

"Pretty much." Bumblebee answered, deciding the truthful answer would be the best one. "Prowl sent me to watch you while he talked with Jazz.

The femme nodded at his words. Her mind seemed to be getting fuzzy. Those painkillers the medic gave her were topnotch stuff. She thought she was high in the medbay, but now it was almost like she was cloud nine. They were nothing compared to the stimulants she was into back on Cybertron, but still for medicine this was nice.

"I want to go to my quarters," the femme told Bumblebee. "I'm as high as a kite and need to recharge for a few hours."

As Bumblebee agreed, he briefly wondered if he should be concerned by the fact the femme admitted she felt high. However, he knew firsthand what heavy duty meds could do a bot and he already decided that the femme was typically a blunt person unless she was bored and just didn't like who she was talking to.

As they walked to the femme's quarters, Bumblebee decided this was the time to get some answers from the femme. Answers that she wouldn't give when clear minded. "How long were you on Earth before you ran into us?" he asked, hoping the femme wouldn't shut him out or worse hit him for asking personal questions.

"I don't know." The femme answered. "Several months I think. I didn't check my chronometer often. Besides how long I stayed hidden wasn't important. The fact that I stayed hidden was."

Bumblebee nodded taking the information in. "Why did you leave the Decepticons?"

The femme narrowed her optics as she glared at Bumblebee with her peripheral vision. "Because I had to." And she refused to say anymore about it.

_-That worked well-_ Bumblebee thought. He decided to try again. After all the more the femme talked the more insight he was able to get from her. "Who took care of you when you were little?"

"That's a stupid question. Barricade of course." The femme snorted.

"Yeah, but you said there were times he had to leave on missions and he left you with someone else."

"You've asked this question before." The femme now amused by the bumbling of the yellow scout. "One would expect you to remember that."

"Uhh, sorry." Bee stuttered, embarrassed by the slip.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. They stopped as they reached the femme's quarters. Bumblebee couldn't help but glance up and down her frame as she punched in her code.

"This is where we part lil' Bee, the femme said as the door opened.

"Wait!" Bumblebee shouted, hoping the white assassin would answer one last question. She had to, it was driving him insane. "You still haven't told me your name."

The femme sighed, turning around to snap the insolent mech's head off. Why wouldn't he let this go? However, as she looked at him, she recalled her thoughts of him from earlier this morning. His optics wide and innocent. His innocence was almost… desirable. She had the impression that he was earnest in his desire to know her name. But she couldn't do it.

Only three bots knew her real name, she couldn't just give it away. Names held power over people. That's why Black ops mechs were given second names to be used in records and during meetings. In the field, they could have multiple identities.

But he wasn't necessarily asking for _her_ name, she could easily give him a name.

The femme clicked in thought as she debated what to tell the scout. She wasn't fond of her field designations and her real one was out of the question. That left…

"In Black ops we're given second names to keep the enemy from finding out our real identities." She told the puzzled scout. "If you must have a name you can have the name I received after my initiation." The femme turned her back to Bumblebee and entered the room.

"Hold up!" Bumblebee called. "You didn't tell me…"

"Ashfire." The femme tossed over her shoulder as the door slid closed. "You may call me Ashfire."

Bumblebee stood there, staring at the closed door. "Ashfire," he whispered, tasting the words on his lip plates. "Why would they call you that?"

_Ashfire_

It was more than he expected. He honestly thought the femme would laugh and mock him again. It was a fake name, but still a name. Out of all the bots on base, she told him her name. Prowl would know about it. He would have to. If Barricade knew, Prowl would too. But still she didn't tell Prowl about Ashfire. She told _him_.

_Ashfire_

Walking away from the femme's quarters, Bumblebee pondered the name. It seemed strange to call her that, but then he remembered her optics. The way those red orbs seemed to burn through him. The way they smoldered, even when they were nothing but slits. The way they would briefly flash when she was annoyed. Yes, the name did fit her.

_Ashfire_


	13. Chapter 13

Prowl watched his creation. It had been three months since the incident with Jazz and she was becoming restless. He knew she didn't want him to be affected by the fight and did her best to be somewhat civil to the saboteur; most of the time. She did make derogatory comments and threw insults at Jazz as he did the same to her, but never if Prowl was around. Other than the obvious tension between her and his mate, the femme had behaved herself.

Of course it wouldn't last long if an outlet for her frustration wasn't found soon. There were already enough complications with her stay on base. The Autobots behaved very differently than the mechs she was used to associating with. Needless to say the differences were stressful for her to deal with. For now, she seemed content to fiddle with a rubix cube. Only Primus knew why since the most challenging part of the cube was the size of it. Glancing to the spot next to her, he noticed that there were five completed cubes and a box of undone cubes next to her.

Where was she getting them?

"What are you planning to do with the rubix cubes?" Prowl asked.

The femme shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just bored." She set the now completed cube with her pile of completed cubes. "Maybe I'll make a life size version of Ironhide with them and use it for target practice." She picked up another cube.

Prowl sighed. It was no secret that Ironhide had no love for the femme and vice versa. There were few she was willing to associate with for long periods of time. Those few consisted mainly of him, Bumblebee, and Ratchet. Although he doubted that having contests on who could cuss the most creatively was really associating with the medic.

She didn't mind Jolt or Sideswipe much, but he suspected that was only due to the fact that when they were together, they weren't focused on watching her.

Bumblebee was a different matter. He often left her in the company of the young, yellow scout. It seemed that Bee was the only mech Prowl could trust to watch the femme and not be put off by her past or her demeanor. However, there was that small wriggling in the back of his processor that said he should be wary of how much time the two spent together.

It was obvious to the older bots and many of the humans that Bumblebee was attracted to the femme. And she made no move to discourage him. It was hard to say whether it was cause she felt the same or she was just amused by it. Not to mention that she had given the young mech her name. Well, not her actual name, but one of the names she's gone by. It just seemed to add insult to injury that she had taken to playing music through her speakers when she was with anyone other than Bee or him. A habit he knew for certain she picked up from the camaro.

Prowl checked the time. Damn, where had the time gone? He would have to attend another meeting with Prime and Galloway. Why couldn't something just happen to that irritating human?

A sigh escaped the tactician he would have to com Bumblebee to watch over his creation. Recalling his musings over the yellow scout a few moments ago, Prowl wasn't keen on the thought, but who else could he trust to do it?

Prowl opened a com link to Bee. /Prowl to Bumblebee./

/Bumblebee here./

/I have a meeting in a few minutes and I need…/

/You need me to watch Ashfire? / Bumblebee interrupted, trying to keep the eager note out of his voice. He failed.

/Affirmative. / Prowl responded with a frown. Now he was sure he needed to keep an optic on the two young bots.

/I'll be there soon./ The com switched off. Prowl turned to look at the femme again. She was looking at him with an optic ridge raised.

"The meeting will start soon." Prowl says to answer her unspoken question.

"With that annoying gnat again?" Gnat was her nicest nickname for Galloway.

"Yes."

"Why don't you just step on him and be done with it?" the femme says, picking up her seventh rubix cube. "I'll bet you a ship's worth of energon the humans won't miss him either."

Prowl smiled. "Galloway isn't loved, but government officials would notice if he were to go missing while on our base."

She snorted. "Whatever. Do what you want. I still think you're better off with him gone though."

Prowl chuckled. It seemed Galloway had a gift of making people hate him. When the humans were told she would be staying on base, the members of NEST were fine with it after Will and Epps assured them it would be all right. Of course, they had to be made aware of the relationship between the femme and Prowl, but once they knew, they were fine with it. However, Galloway wasn't. He even went as far as to demand a meeting with the ex-Decepticon. Optimus granted it to him after spending three weeks listening to the liaison bitch and moan.

Needless to say the femme did not take to Galloway. It wasn't long before she was using her word games to infuriate the man, smirking as she did so. It was difficult for Prowl to keep his face emotionless at Galloway's frustration. Her teasing even caused some of the soldiers to laugh at Galloway's expense.

As soon as Galloway turned to yell at the soldiers, the femme proceeded to dangle her foot over his head, acting like she was about to step on him, resulting in laughter from the soldiers, amusement from the Autobots, and more yelling from Galloway. Optimus did step in after a couple minutes and stop the meeting and the femme from squishing Galloway. Prowl had endeavored to keep her away from the liaison ever since.

A knock came from the door. "Enter," Prowl called.

The door opened to reveal Bumblebee. "Sir," Bumblebee said with a nod, acknowledging Prowl. He then turned to look at the white form still fiddling with a rubix cube. "Hey Ashfire."

The femme set down the now completed cube.

How many had she done now, eight or nine?

"Hello lil Bee." The femme greeted her tone suspiciously light and airy. "It's your turn to play my keeper now isn't it?"

"Well I wouldn't say that." Bumblebee replied sheepishly. He would have said more, but he was painfully aware of Prowl's gaze on him. It was kind of scary to say the least.

"Let's go to the training room. Maybe I'll beat my record and pin you down five times, lil Bee." The femme said standing up, walking to the door. She turned her head to look at Prowl. "Enjoy your meeting Creator."

Prowl nodded his head and watched the two young bots walk out of his office. He would definitely need to keep an optic on those two.

* * *

Bumblebee watched the femme carefully as she circled him. Sparring with her had become a normal thing for him. Sadly, he didn't win very often. He wasn't sure how she did it, but one minute she'd be five feet in front of him and then appear inches away from his body. It wasn't fast like that one racer, Blurr. It was more subtle than that. Almost like smoke.

"You're not paying attention." Ashfire said. Really if he wasn't going to try, there was no need to go easy on him. She moved.

The world seemed to turn as one moment Bumblebee was preparing to strike and the next his face first on the floor, his arms held back and Ashfire straddling his hips. Bumblebee squirmed hoping to dislodge the femme and free his arms. Heat travelled up his spine and he shivered as she chuckled and tightened her grip.

"What happened, Bee?" The femme teased. She got too much amusement from messing with the yellow scout. "Yield and maybe I'll let you go."

Oh, there was no way he would let her win this easily, not today. "Never," Bumblebee replied.

This was new. Bumblebee could banter, barely, but he never did it while they were sparring. This could be interesting. "What makes you think you can last against me?"

Bumblebee grinned as he turned on his speakers. He couldn't help it, this song was just great.

_It's the real authentic, Leave ya'll dented, Forget what ya heard If I said it,_ _I meant it_

_Did it for real While ya'll pretended,_ _Back for more Startin' the war to end it Raw Rippin' like I'm working a chainsaw_

_New York to Cali New Jersey to Crenshaw, Speak the gift while you plead the fifth, My team is sick We eat, sleep, and breathe this shit_

_Rough and rugged Kill 'em soft We don't leave one standin' when we breakin' 'em off Takin' a loss?_

_Not a chance in your life If being fresh is wrong, I don't wanna be right,_ _Stop, drop, and roll We got soul Safe to pop off when we lock and load,_

_So this how we get this done You can check on the rep, yep, second to none Check on the rep, second to none, yea This how we get this done You can check on the rep, second to none Check on the rep, second to none, yea_

The femme cocked her head. She had grown use to Bumblebee and his radio talk. She even got use of her own radio back. It took time to find what she wanted, but it was possible to use it to interact like Bee did. However, there was no way she would let the mech get away with this. Perhaps it was time to change tactics. Leaning close, she blew air from her vents to fan across yellow doorwings. She smirked as the doorwings shuddered.

Bumblebee's optics widened as he felt the tickling sensation on his doorwings. She wasn't…

"Wait, what are you…"

"If you won't yield, you might as well enjoy this." Ashfire said, her voice too smug as she pressed her chest to Bumblebee's back and activated her own radio.

_Have you ever noticed, That I'm not acting as I used to do before? Have you ever wondered, Why I always keep on coming back for more?_

_What have you done to me,_ _I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_

_I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_ _I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_

_You really are my ecstasy,_ _My real life fantasy (oh yeah)_ _You really are my ecstasy_ _My real life fantasy (oh yeah)_

Bumblebee shuddered as the beat shook his body. He could feel heat where her body touched his. It moved in waves as it spread from his back to his fingers and pedes. He couldn't believe this was really happening. If someone were to walk in right now, was it wrong that the thought of someone walking in just made him hotter?

_Not that I'm complaining,_ _A more beautiful vision - I have never seen_ _If you don't mind me saying,_ _A lifelong ambition to fulfill my dream_

_What have you done to me,_ _I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_

"Do you yield?" Ashfire asked, her grip on his arms tightening.

"N-no." Bumblebee stammered.

"Alright then." She replied and increased the volume.

_I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_ _I'll never be the same I'll tell you for sure_

_You really are my ecstasy,_ _My real life fantasy (oh yeah_ _You really are my ecstasy,_ _My real life fantasy (oh yeah)_

_-Strange_ \- the femme thought. She had thought this would disturb the mech. Instead he seemed to be enjoying it, or rather he was trying not to but his body was betraying him. Maybe lil' Bumblebee wasn't as innocent as she thought. Still, this wasn't meant to bring pleasure to him.

"Do you yield now?" Ashfire asked.

Bumblebee tried to speak. His vocalizer had cut out. He was trying to reset it, then his fans whirred on.

_You really are my ecstasy (There can be no other While we still have each other) My real life fantasy (There can be no other While we still have each other)_

He couldn't take this anymore. It didn't feel bad and that was the problem. He shouldn't be enjoying this. He shouldn't be enjoying how powerless he was to Ashfire, and yet here he was. Face down on the floor with her body pressed against his.

Ashfire was becoming frustrated. This wasn't working out the way she planned. She wanted to embarrass the scout into submission. She wanted to feed on his mortification, not his pleasure. This slight tingle in her spark was confusing her. This was not what she wanted.

_You really are my ecstasy, (I'll never be the same, I'll tell you for sure)_

"Yield, now!" she hissed. Bumblebee would yield or so help her. "Do you yield?"

"Yes," Bee moaned, too torn to bother with his pride.

With a click the femme turned off her radio and released him.

Bumblebee blinked in surprise. What happened? Stiffly he sat up, looking over his shoulder to find Ashfire. The femme had moved several feet away. Her armor seemed to gleam as she studied him with a thoughtful expression on her face. Bumblebee shivered as he looked into those red optics. He would never get used to the way she could stare right through him.

"Ashfire?" Bee called, unsure of the situation.

The femme snorted. She didn't want to think about what just happened with the annoying mech. "I need to refuel." She said, needing something, anything to distract her.

Bumblebee nodded. The rec room sounded like the best place in the world right now. Hopefully it would distract him from the thick cloud of tension between Ashfire and him.

* * *

Optimus sighed as Galloway continued to rant about the Decepticon on base. Again. Galloway had to have some sort of inferiority complex. He just wouldn't let this go.

The Prime took a quick glance at Prowl.

The black and white mech was as stoic as ever, but centuries with the tactician let Optimus guess his moods based on the arch of his doorwings. Prowl was holding his sensory panels high and stiff. He was annoyed.

In the short time the femme was here, it became obvious to the Prime that Prowl would become highly protective of his offspring the second he sensed any danger towards her. He would need to end this quickly.

"I understand your concerns," Optimus said respectfully to the liaison. Tact and patience were needed to end this meeting. "However the femme has defected from the Decepticons and is very young by our standards. Our race is few in numbers, Galloway. We can't just turn her over to your government or execute her."

"Then why don't you lock her up?" The little man shouted for the thousandth time.

"She is not out prisoner." Optimus responded.

"And yet you have your Autobots watching her all hours of the day." Galloway sent back, looking entirely too smug.

"That is for her protection as much as it is for yours."

"How can you defend her?" Galloway asked frustrated. Why were these stupid machines refusing to see reason. She was a Decepticon she had to be locked away or destroyed. "You claim to have been at war with the Decepticons for millions of years. How can you just accept one intoo your ranks with open arms?"

"Part of ending our war begins with forgiveness." The Prime responded. "It will be difficult, but it must be done." In his spark, Optimus knew this to be true. If only others knew it. If only Prowl knew it and would begin to forgive himself. Optimus could not stop but feel sorry for his friend as memories of Barricade plagued him.

"Forgiveness? How can you forgive someone when you know nothing about them? You don't even know her name. At least give us some information about the 'femme' so we can take precautions."

Ah, now Galloway's true intentions came out. Government officials were always trying to get something from them. What he really wanted were her body specs. The humans have been dying to get a hold of them for ages.

Before Optimus could say anything Prowl cut in. "She responds to the designation Ashfire and any information she gives us, militant or personal, will be received when she feels ready to share it. Not when you demand it."

"How dare…" And Galloway was off on another of his rants. Eventually, the man talked himself out and left the base in a huff.

Optimus sighed. Knowing Galloway there would be trouble later. But right now he was more concerned about Prowl. Already the human personnel were clearing out, leaving Prowl and Optimus alone in the hangar. Optimus cleared his throat to get the tactician's attention.

Prowl made no move, clearly lost in his own thoughts.

The Prime strode over to Prowl and placed his hand on his shoulder. "Prowl."

Prowl jumped at the touch and turned his attention to the larger mech. "Optimus, sir. My apologies I was thinking."

"I could tell." Optimus chuckled. "Are you all right?"

"Of course, it will take much more than Galloway to bother me." Prowl responded.

Prime nodded. "I understand things haven't been easy for you the last few months."

"No they haven't." Prowl agreed. "But I will work through it. It's the only thing I can do."

"Just remember you're not alone." Optimus told Prowl squeezing his shoulder. "I am here anytime you need me, my friend."

Prowl reached up and gave a returning squeeze to the hand on his shoulder. "Thank you Optimus. I appreciate it."

* * *

That night, the femme laid on her berth as she browsed the internet to ease the boredom, but even that lost its charm after a few hours. Her mind kept wandering back to what happened in the training room.

Why did she do that? What was that warmth in her spark as she watched Bee tremble at her mercy?

It wasn't the same cold, empowering feeling she got during her missions. It was different.

During the last three months she still found Bumblebee's innocence strange. It almost seemed to call to her. Begging to ripped apart, shredded, or cared for, cherished. A growl escaped her throat. It needed to be one way or another. There could be no contradictions, no paradoxes. She did not survive by cherishing the innocent.

She would crush lil' Bee. That was it. She would take his innocence and obliterate it. Then she would bathe herself in his shame and anger. She would. She would. She would.

She wouldn't. She wouldn't destroy the mech and she knew it. Not while she was dependent on the Autobots. Not while Prowl was trying to connect with her. Yes, she knew that was the reason behind the tactician's support. Stupid fool probably believed he did wrong by her while being Barricade. She didn't understand why he felt bad about it. Barricade had prepared her for a life as a soldier. Yes, horrible things did happen to her, but those events were out of his control. Barricade had raised her, the best he knew how, that wasn't a crime.

Oh wait, to self righteous Autobots it was. The pretentious bastards.

She closed her optics and began to initiate her recharge cycle. There was no point in contemplating her life anymore. It was just making her angry. Maybe tomorrow she could at least find something amusing to do without feeling this confusion twist her mind and soul like the sweetest poison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used: Second to None by Styles of Beyond
> 
> Ecstasy by ATB


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: PTSD, torture, character death

**Flashback**

**: bond :**

_: comlink :_

_-thoughts-_

 

**It was dark in the chamber. The only light in the room was centered on the small mech strapped to table. He knew he wouldn't get any information from him, but that wasn't the point of the exercise. He looked over his shoulder. Good, she was here, now they could begin.**

**He motioned her over. "** **Do you know the purpose of this lesson, young one?" he asked as the youngling came to stand beside him.**

" **To get information?" she responded, gaze intent on Autobot.**

" **No, to learn** _ **how**_ **to get information." He corrected.**

" **Can't you just hack him?"**

" **You can, but that is dangerous to the hacker and their intended target." He said with all the patience of a creator. "You only hack someone's mind as a last resort, when no other option is viable."**

**The young femme nodded.**

**He picked up a laser scalpel. "Now where do you think we should place the first cut?"**

**The femme cocked her head to the side as she considered her answer. "Away from the vitals."**

" **Why?"**

" **Because you don't want to kill him right away."**

**He nodded. "Good." He leant over the Autobot as took the scalpel and began making incisions in his arms and legs.** **The Autobot jerked his mangled vocalizer struggling to yell, but his optics said everything for him. Defiance, anger, pain.**

" **Why is his vocalizer broken?" the youngling asked**

" **So we don't have to deal with his noise." He answered.**

" **Don't you want him to make noise?"**

" **The only noise I want is the Autobot giving me the information I require." He replied. "Usually they just scream, beg, and threaten me. Since this is your first lesson, we don't need to hear any of it. When you're older you will need to deal with it."**

**The femme nodded, accepting what he said.**

" **Now what do you think I should do next?"**

**The youngling shrugged. "Electricity?" she suggested.**

**He nodded. Yes that would be acceptable. He put the scalpel down and picked up an electro-rod.**

* * *

Jazz woke to screaming. Prowl was lost in another memory loop. Jazz moved quickly, knowing the longer Prowl was in the memory the harder it would be for him to cope with the information. "Prowl! Prowl wake up! It's okay, get up!" Jazz yelled, shaking his mate.

Prowl shot up, his optics bright and frame trembling. "J-j-Jazz?"

Jazz hummed, bringing his mate closer to him in an attempt to comfort. "It's alright, Prowler. I'm here." Jazz said softly. Prowl always seemed fragile after the nightmares. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Prowl considered it. He found that sharing some of the memories with his mate helped relieve choking feeling of numbness. He had only told Jazz the less traumatic memories though. Not the ones that involved Barricade's assignments and training sessions with his creation. He never told Jazz about the memories of battles or interrogations. He never told him of the memory of the watching the Allspark being launched into space and the yellow scout with them.

He shook his head no.

"Please Prowl." Jazz begged. "I want ta help ya. Please don't shut me out."

Prowl continued to tremble. No. He couldn't, not this.

Feelings of reassurance and calm flowed through the bond. **: It's okay Prowler. :**

After a few minutes of silence Prowl finally whispered, "Interrogation lesson."

Jazz blinked. Interrogation lesson? Prowl had told him how Barricade would give these 'lessons' to his creation; what made this one different? "You've told meh that Barricade taught her torture techniques before, Prowler. What's different 'bout tonight?"

Another moment of silence filled the room. Still shaking, Prowl turned away from Jazz, burying his face in his hands.

"Prowler, it's okay." Prowl shook his head. "Prowl …please."

A static laced whine escaped Prowl's throat. "It was Huffer," he choked out.

Jazz inhaled as he remembered what happened to the loud mouth minibot. During a patrol around the outskirts of Iacon, Huffer had been taken. He was only gone a couple of days before a scouting team found him; or what was left of him.

They found poor Huffer with all of his battle armor stripped off, half of his insides missing, and what still there showed electric and acid damage. No one could decide if it was a miracle or a curse that Huffer was still alive. There was very little the medics could do for the suffering minibot. Thankfully he didn't survive the night.

What could he do? How could he comfort Prowl? Jazz shivered. What happened to Huffer was horrific; he wished that some of these memories would just stay in shadow forever. "It's okay Prowler." Jazz said, bringing his mate close to him.

Prowl pressed his face into Jazz' neck. He hated this. He hated seeing all those…those there were no words to describe it. Another sob left his vocalizer.

Jazz stroked Prowl's doorwings and sent pulses of love and reassurance through the bond, hoping, trying to offer some comfort for the night.

* * *

Jazz lay in his berth, staring at the ceiling. Prowl had already left for his shift while Jazz had the day off. He couldn't forget last night. It was the first time Prowl hadn't kept a part himself closed off for months now. Hell, they hadn't even interfaced.

Jazz knew it was his fault. He allowed that youngling to goad him into a fight and did nothing to stop himself. He wouldn't deny that he had wanted to hurt the femme. How could he not? She represented everything about Prowl as the Decepticons used him. She represented Barricade and whoever the slagger that dared touch his mate.

But…Prowl wanted her. It made perfect sense for him to. She was his creation. She came from his spark, his body. He may have sparked her while the protocols for Barricade were active, but she was still _his_ creation. Not _theirs._

He closed his optics as he recalled their fight over her.

**Ratchet had fixed him up, but he was still sore. That femme definitely knew how to fight. That was when Prowl walked in. He watched his lover warily as he approached his berth.** **Prowl didn't say a word as he crossed his room.**

**Prowl came to stand next to Jazz's berth. Jazz swallowed as Prowl looked him up and down, examining the welds on his chassis. "Why?"**

**The question was so soft Jazz wasn't even sure he heard it until Prowl repeated it, his voice barely louder. "Why?"**

**He couldn't look at him. "I don't know."**

" **Bullshit!" Prowl snapped. The sudden change surprised Jazz. From the bond he could tell Prowl was upset, but since Prowl had his side blocked he couldn't tell how much. Apparently Prowl was very upset.**

It had hurt. Prowl had taken her side over his. But Jazz didn't have it in him to be angry at Prowl. If the situation was reversed, he supposed he would try to care for the youngling too. Still it hurt that Prowl took her side over his.

" **It's your fault this happened!" Prowl shouted.**

" **How's it my fault?" Jazz yelled back.**

" **You're not supposed to attack her!"**

" **It's not like she didn't fight back. I'm in the medbay too, ya know."**

" **You're the adult! You're supposed to have self control!"**

" **Yeah, well** _ **your**_ **creation doesn't think much about havin' self control!"**

**And just like that, Prowl deflated. The black and white mech turned his gaze away from Jazz. He noticed that his spark ached. It was the endless ache that plagued him since he became aware of himself on the Nemesis. It haunted him all times of the day. He could ignore it for awhile, but it never left him. Having Jazz at his side helped ease the throbbing soreness of his spark, having his creation close all day helped too.**

" **I'm not asking you to love her Jazz. I…I just want you to try to get along with her. I love you, I do, but-she is my daughter."  
**

**Jazz felt his spark break as Prowl's voice cracked. Primus, he never wanted to hurt him.**

" **Don't make me have to choose between you two, love. I can't. I can't."**

Jazz growled, swinging his legs off the berth. He needed to find Prowl. It was time he apologized to his mate.

* * *

Damn this place, damn the human, damn Bumblebee. The femme followed the camaro around the outside of the base. Prowl had sent her on her way after the midget had come to see him. Oh well, she didn't want to be around him anyway. She was tired of the base. She wanted to see something new, something that didn't involve all these squishy insects and stupid Autobots.

That's why she agreed to follow Bee. He had asked her if she wanted to get off base for awhile and she agreed, however they were doing nothing but walking around it. She growled.

Bumblebee heard the femme and sympathized. He wanted to get away from everyone too. The only problem was he wasn't completely sure he was allowed to do that. He had been trying to com Optimus and Prowl to ask, but they weren't answering. He was tired of trying to com them. He'll just take her and deal with everyone afterwards.

"You ready to go?" Bee asked, turning to look at Ashfire.

"Been ready." She replied.

Bee chuckled nervously. "Yeah, well I've been trying to tell the others where we're going, but they won't answer their comms." He shrugged. "I don't think we'll get in trouble so let's go."

With that said, the yellow scout dropped down in vehicle mode. He was ready to start his engine, but Ashfire was still standing there with her hands on her hips. Bumblebee fought the urge to shudder at the thoughtful look that was directed at him. "Can you transform?"

She watched the scout change to vehicle mode carefully. She couldn't shake the events of yesterday and…and he said something. Something about transforming. Blinking to clear her thoughts she brought herself back to reality.

"I should be able to." Ashfire replied. "Ratchet said I could. I haven't actually tried it."

When was the last time she transformed? Oh yeah, right before she came to the Autobots base. Carefully, she activated the transformation sequence. It almost felt alien to feel her body shifting to its vehicle form after so long. When all four tires hit the ground, the femme felt a missing piece of the puzzle come into place. She was complete. She could go nearly anywhere on this planet. All she had to do was turn on her engine and she was gone.

Yet, where would she go? She supposed she could abandon the little Bee, but then the Autobots would be after her. Plus she still felt this almost need to have the security of her creator nearby and for some reason she was becoming intrigued by the camaro next to her. Damn, this planet for making her weak.

Bumblebee's engine stalled as he saw the Celica in front of him.

The femme cast a suspicious look towards him. "Everything alright?" she asked. Oh it was fun to tease him. Especially when his EM field was giving her all the information she needed. The poor thing couldn't hide his attraction to her if he tried. And she hasn't done a thing to him. Her thoughts instantly strayed to their encounter in the training room.

Why did she keep thinking about that, about him?

"I'm fine." Bumblebee replied a little too quickly. "Follow me."

She followed him. For two fragging hours she followed him and was still following. The femme revved her engine in annoyance. How long was it going to be? She didn't even know where they were going. Bored beyond belief, the femme began flipping through radio stations for some entertainment.  
Hmm…Katy Perry, no. Chris Brown, no. Lady Gaga's Born this Way, not a chance in hell. Ugh, Taylor Swift, how in the pit did this squishy get on the radio? Growling, the femme continued to fiddle with the radio.

_:_ _Bad radio stations? :_ A voice came in through her com. Oh now the little Bee graces her with some acknowledgment.

_: No I just love listening to Taylor Swift. :_ She snapped.

_: Don't worry we're almost there. :_ Bee sent back.

_: Where are we going? :_

A chuckled rippled through the line. _: You'll see. :_ Bee teased and closed the line.

The femme huffed. That was helpful. It was funny that she was able to transform and use her comlink to communicate though. Ratchet had done a splendid job. But if the Autobots' goal was to keep her from leaving, they had failed horribly.

There wasn't anything really keeping her from abandoning the Autobots. She'd never be able to sneak away from Prowl, but Bumblebee was a different matter. She could take off right now, yet, she didn't want to. As annoying as this was, she still wanted to see where the lil' Bee was taking her.

Huffing again, she continued to follow Bumblebee. Scanning, the area around her she noticed she's never been here before. Though that wasn't really surprising, there was much of this dirty planet she hasn't seen. She was slightly confused when her scanners picked up a huge mass of water.

Why would that mech think water was interesting? As they drove closer, it hit the femme; he was taking her to the ocean. The two drove onto the sand, coming near the water's edge. Slowly, the femme transformed. She spread her doorwings wide, allowing her sensor net to take in all the data around her; the temperature, the breeze, the organics around her, the mech beside her.

"What do you think?" Bumblebee asked a slight amount of static in his voice. His vocalizer was beginning to act up again.

Ashfire raised an optic bridge at him before turning her attention back to the water. After a few minutes she answered him. "It's big and blue."

"That's it?"

"What did you expect me to say?" Ashfire replied, her gaze on him, searching him.

At a loss for words, the scout shrugged.

She turned her whole body towards him. "Why?'

"Huh?"

"Why do this?" the femme reiterated, gesturing to water foaming on the sand as the tide rolled in. "Why bring me here, away from base?"

"I-I'd thought you'd like to get away for awhile." Bee spluttered as more static escaped his vocalizer. Why did this have to happen now? He shuttered his optics. Ashfire was gone. The next thing Bee knew, he was pinned on his back, the sand digging into the plating of his doorwings, and the white form of Ashfire was on top of him. He tried to sit up, but somehow the femme was keeping his arms pinned to the sand.

She growled at him, her face a few mere centimeters away from his. Bee trembled as her EM field pressed against his, hard, probing, curious. "Why do you care about what'd I like?" she asked. Her red optics narrowed, intent on his wide blue ones.

Bumblebee clicked his vocalizer in an attempt to clear the static. Why did he care? She wasn't his problem, by all rights she was Prowl's. Yet as the thought formed in his mind he knew the answer. Even though he had his elders and Sam, they didn't really understand him. And he was tired of being alone. And Ashfire was alone too. She may have had Barricade, but he was gone. Prowl was here now and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fully understand her either.

"B-because" Bumblebee finally answered. "You're here. And you're like me. You shouldn't have to be alone." The femme drew back, confusion written on her features. Her EM field was still pressed against his, but Bumblebee felt the change. She was unsure.

That was not the answer she was expecting. The femme continued to study the mech under her. She pushed at him with her field, and all he did was yield to her. This was different than yesterday. Yes, there was still heat in Bumblebee's field, but there was something else. He felt sincere.

"That's not an answer." Ashfire mumbled as she released her hold on the scout's arms and straightened her back.

- _And yet it's the only one I have-_ , Bumblebee thought as he watched the white frame sit up and red optics turned to the sea.

She looked back at the ocean. Great, she thought she was confused before, but now? Primus, damn this mech. She focused on the waves to try to distract her mind from the mech below her. She didn't want to admit it, but it was…soothing. Perhaps she would come here again the next time she could sneak away.

"Let's go." She stood up and initiated her transformation sequence. With a start of her engine, the femme sped back to base.

After a few moments Bumblebee stood and followed her.


	15. Chapter 15

Systems purred as silver, white, and black lay in a tangled heap. The two bots lounged in the afterglow, enjoying the renewal of their bond. Prowl and Jazz had become accustomed to being close again after so much time apart. It was hard to imagine how they survived eons without the other.

"Ah'm sorry, Prowler, really am." Jazz mumbled his accent thick as he pressed close to the frame under him.

"I know. I've already forgiven you."

"Ya know it's hard to stay mad at ya when you're so sexy all the time."

Prowl snorted at Jazz's weak attempt at humor. They had always had a physical relationship. It was always amusing how much time and energy they spent interfacing. A frown fell upon Prowl's features when he remembered he would have to ruin this sweet moment with his bondmate. "Jazz, I have to tell you something."

"Hmmm?" Jazz hummed halfway lulled into recharge.

"I need you to watch over Mer-, Ashfire for me." That woke the saboteur up.

"What?"

Prowl shifted uncomfortably under the silver form. "Next week Optimus and I are meeting with government officials in Washington and Sam will be returning to his parents on a break from school…"

"You need me to watch over your little one while you're gone." Jazz finished. He wasn't pleased. They had just some amazing make up sex and Prowl just couldn't wait to drop the bomb on him. Oh well, he wouldn't fuss Jazz decided. He knew he would say yes. Anything for Prowl, even if it meant swallowing his disdain for the white femme. However, there was one thing he had to know.

"Prowl?"

"Hmm?"

"Ashfire isn't her real name, is it?" Jazz asked, more of a statement than a question. He knew it wasn't it couldn't be, not after Prowl's slip up.

"It isn't." Prowl confirmed. "Jazz I can't…"

"I know, lover its a Black Ops thing." Jazz purred, comforting the black and white mech. "You have to earn the right to know. I'll wait. Now let's get some recharge. Primus knows we're going to need it."

* * *

The femme huffed as she sat in Jazz's office doing more of her rubix cubes. Prowl left for a delegation in Washington a week ago and now she was stuck with the midget. The midget was in here doing his work plus Prowl's while the tactician was away.

She promised her creator to get along with him, but this was torture. She didn't even have Bumblebee to distract her. He was too busy being with that human, Sam. She decided she hated him. The human that was, he was too whiny. It made her wonder why the Autobots were so protective of him. There had to be something she hadn't seen yet, because it was confusing.

A sigh left her intakes. Later tonight she'd have to sneak out. She didn't want to admit it but the place Bumblebee took her last week was...nice. She had already been there three times since the first visit. Once with the yellow scout and twice late at night.

Speaking of which, where was the lil' Bee? It wasn't like she missed him. If he wanted to run around with his human that was his business.

With three clicks the rubix cube was finished. She added it to her collection as she counted them all. 25,253. Wow, she really needed a hobby. She reached for a new cube and found the box she kept all the undone ones in empty. Shit. What was she going to do now? Glancing at the midget, she decided it wasn't worth her time to stay here. She stood, stretching the kinks out of her frame.

"Where are you goin?" Jazz intoned, cutting his optics to the white femme.

"Gonna see Hatchet." She replied. If there was one thing she liked about the silver mech it was that he let her wander the base by herself.

"Don't start anythin' you can't finish" Jazz warned. He knew he probably shouldn't let the femme go on her own, but it was stressful to always be with her, stressful for the femme and him. He found that he had actually improved their relationship by granting her that small amount of freedom. The only problem was that there were several Autobots that didn't like it. Mainly the Arcees and Ironhide. Well two Arcees and Ironhide.

"Whatever." The femme replied as she entered the hall.

It really was strange how much her life had changed. Once upon a time she would never consider walking around the Autobot base, yet here she was. It was…unsettling.

Arriving at the med bay's doors, Ashfire took a second to listen. If Ratchet was in the middle of a rant she would wait to enter so as to not bring his wrath down on her. When she didn't hear Ratchet's trademark temper, she deemed it safe to enter.

Upon entering, the femme found Ratchet working on the blue Arcee. She had done her best to avoid all the Arcees after the blue one tried to attack her for referring to the motorcycle as the 'blue one'.

She didn't get why that would offend, it wasn't like she was lying. That Arcee was blue and they all go by the same name so how the hell else was she to distinguish one from the others?

Ratchet turned from his work to glance at the white femme behind him. "And for what honor am I being graced with your presence for femme?" the medic questioned, voice dripping with sarcasm

"I've run out of rubix cubes to amuse myself with, sir." She replied just as cheekily. "So your new purpose in life is to entertain me before you fall apart from rust."

The blue motorcycle glared at the ex-con while Ratchet chuckled. "What makes you think that you can waltz around here and talk to us like that?" she snapped. Primus she hated the Con.

The femme smirked and turned on her speakers.

_It's so easy when you're evil._ _This is the life you see, the devil tips his hat to me_

_I do it all because I'm evil._ _And I do it all for free_

_Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need_

Ratchet laughed as he straightened up and the Arcee began to splutter with indignation. "You've spent too much time with Bumblebee," the medic chuckled.

Arcee on the other hand was not amused. "You disrespectful scum." The blue femme hissed. "You shouldn't be here. The only reason Prime let you stay is because you're Prowl's spawn."

"Get you." Ratchet growled at the small femme, brandishing his wrench. "I'm not going to tolerate that in here. She has just as much right to be here as you do. If you don't like it you can leave before I decide to turn you into an appliance."

Huffing, the blue Arcee rolled out of the med bay.

Was it wrong that Ashfire felt a smug bit of satisfaction at watching the annoying thing be reprimanded by the medic? She decided it wasn't. However, there was one thing that disturbed her. There were conflicting emotions responding to the medic's defense of her. She felt…warmth that he would defend her. But there was uncertainty. Why was he defending her? It wasn't like the Arcee was lying. She didn't belong here. He must want something from her, he had to.

Why else would he stand up for her?

Ratchet watched the warmongering femme leave. It was puzzling how Arcee's components were so different from each other. That one was always trying to start conflict. With a sigh he turned his attention back to Ashfire. There was no missing the thoughtful look in the femme's optics. He noticed when she was lost in her head she seemed to relax and her optics took on a smoldering glow.

- _No wonder Bumblebee is infatuated with her_ \- Ratchet thought with amusement. Clearing his throat to get her attention, Ratchet watched as the white femme came back to the present. "Don't let what Arcee said get to you. She's just bored with no action."

She shrugged. "She was stating fact. I really don't belong here."

Ratchet scowled. "Yes you do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"So it doesn't bother you that I was a Decepticon? That my existence has been spent sabotaging, impersonating, and killing your side?" she replied with a raised optic ridge.

"Youngling, I'm a medic first and an Autobot second. But more importantly I'm a mech. You could be the spawn of Unicron himself and I wouldn't turn you away."

She was stunned. The old medic had spoken with genuine care in his voice. The only people who had ever cared about her were Barricade and Soundwave and his symbiotes. It was disconcerting.

She glanced to the side, unable to maintain eye contact with Ratchet. "I'm not sure what to say."

A small smile came to Ratchet's face. "Then don't say anything." He said as he strode to the femme and wrapped his arms around her.

She stiffened as she felt Ratchet hug her. It was strange. She didn't have many memories of hugs. She remembered Barricade cradling her when she small and as she grew older he would hold her close when she was injured or when he was in need of comfort. She remembered sitting on Soundwave's lap or next to his leg as the telepath's tentacles made sure she didn't slip or wander away. She remembered when she was a youngling and spent time with Deadlock. He would wrap his arm around her waist and press her against his body, but that was about it for physical affection other than interfacing.

This was something different. It wasn't bad, just strange.

Not sure what to do, she just sat and let the old mech hold her. It wasn't threatening so there was no reason to pull away. She didn't wrap her arms around him in return, but she felt it was enough for the medic to just let him hold her a bit longer.

Ratchet felt the femme tense as he hugged her. He watched her face as she seemed to debate with herself whether she should move or not. Eventually she forced the tension from her frame and sat peacefully, allowing the medic maintain the embrace. Ratchet didn't expect her to hug him back, but the fact that she was allowing the contact was a positive sign.

After awhile the old mech let the young femme go and took a couple steps back to give her some personal space. "Ok youngling, I got work to do, so shoo."

It took a minute for the femme's usual cocky demeanor to come back full force, but it did. "Whatever, maybe when I come back you'll have some manners." She tossed over shoulder as she strode out the door

"Don't count on it!" the ornery medic called after her.

When the doors closed behind her, she stopped. Her mouth curved into a deep scowl as her engine released a thundering growl. – _I'm getting attached. -_ And suddenly the need to be away from base eclipsed all else.

* * *

Bumblebee sat with Sam at the view. Sam was visiting his parents during a break from school. Sadly things weren't going well for the young man. Mikeala and him had just broken up.

Bee was saddened to see that his two young friends couldn't be together anymore, but he respected Mikeala's decisions. All he could do was offer Sam his support. He had spent all week with Sam and was beginning to worry about leaving Ashfire and Jazz alone together for so long.

Sam was very curious about Ashfire to Bumblebee's embarrassment. "So what kind of girl is she?"

"What?" Bee replied intelligently.

"What is the new Con like?"

"She's not a Con anymore Sam. She's been declared neutral by Prime."

"Yeah, but isn't that because she's Prowl's kid?"

"…..Yes."

"So?" Sam asked, eyes twinkling as he struggled to keep the grin off his face. "Does Prowl know you've got a crush on her?"

Bumblebee's engine stalled. "I do not." the camaro protested.

"Yes you do." Sam teased, laughing when he saw how flustered Bee was getting. "It's okay Bee." Sam patted his giant robot friend on the leg. "It'd be good for you to have someone besides me to hang around with."

Bee softened at the reassurance. "Thanks Sam."

The two friends sat in silence for a bit longer, enjoying the view and the calm of the evening. When the peace had passed Sam turned to his companion. "Are you ready to head back to base?"

Bumblebee nodded his head and transformed into the camaro that the human felt proud to be in.

When Bumblebee and Sam returned to base, they heard shouting. As Bee pulled up they could see NEST members running around looking panicked. "What's going on?" Sam asked, getting out of Bee so he could transform.

"I don't know." Bee sent out a ping on his comlink. Ratchet responded.

_: What is it, youngling? :_

_: I just got back and everyone is running around. What's going on? :_ Bumblebee sent.

_: The humans are throwing a hissy fit because Ashfire has disappeared. :_

_: She left? :_

_: Yup. Ironhide, Sideswipe, and the twins have already left to look for her. Personally, I think Jazz has the right idea about this situation. :_

_: Jazz? :_ Bumblebee questioned. He didn't doubt Jazz, but the strained relationship between the two were common knowledge .

_: Jazz believes that if we leave her alone she'll come back by herself. I agree with him, but I know that not a lot of people are happy about her being here and will use this as ammo to get rid of her. Kid if you know where she went, you'd best get there. :_

_: Understood. Bumblebee out. :_

"So what's going on?" Sam asked the yellow mech.

"Ashfire has gone missing. I have to find her." Bee informed the young man. With that, the young mech transformed and zoomed off to the one place Ashfire felt at peace.

Sam stood there grinning as he watched his car/best friend drive off. "Man he's so whipped."

* * *

Bumblebee sped to the ocean. She had to be there. She had to. He refused to think that she ran away, Ashfire wouldn't do that to Prowl.

He hoped she wouldn't do that to him.

Relief flooded Bumblebee when his scanners picked up the femme's signal. Transforming, he started to run to the white form standing at the water's edge. He stopped at an arms distance from the femme. A worried look took over Bee's face when Ashfire didn't react to his presence.

"Ashfire?"

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Bumblebee." She quietly said her voice a strange monotone.

Bumblebee twitched his doorwings down in an empathetic gesture. "Is something wrong?"

The femme looked back to the ocean. A pregnant silence filled the air as the sound of lapping waves seemed like nothing but an annoying buzz. "I think it's time for me to leave." She answered at long last.

The feeling of pure ice washed through Bee's frame at her words. "You don't mean that."

"Why wouldn't I?" the femme countered. "There's nothing to keep me here. Why shouldn't I leave?"

"Prowl would miss you. I…I would miss you."

"Why!" the femme snapped, keeping her back to Bumblebee. "Why do you care? Why do any of you care?" She wouldn't look at him. She wouldn't. She didn't care about the hurt she could practically taste coming from him.

That's why innocent things didn't last, they were too fragile. Yet he had managed to last, to survive the war.

No, she didn't care, she wouldn't.

She didn't want his innocence, didn't want to see him break. Not anymore. Before it was fun to tease, now…she couldn't describe it. She didn't want to think about it. That would mean getting close. She didn't want to get close that would mean changing. And she didn't want to change.

Bumblebee knew the femme was trying to push him away. He wouldn't let her. He didn't understand why she was doing this, but he wouldn't let her. Not now. Not when he was so sure of himself, so sure this is what he wanted. Slowly the camaro closed the distance between him and the femme and gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing his face against her back.

He had to make her see that she was needed here. That he needed her here. He couldn't remember the last time he felt his spark burn like this and he was so tired of being alone.

Bumblebee tried to speak, but his vocalizer wouldn't form the words. Of course it happened now when he needed to talk most. Carefully he scrutinized his music list to find the words he needed. Words that would make Ashfire see that she had to stay.

_Cause I'm here for you._ _Please don't walk away and_

_Please tell me you'll stay. Stay._

Ashfire listened to song Bee had chosen. Figures he'd find something like that to play to her. She glanced down at the yellow arms holding her. Funny how this was the second hug she received today. At least this one wasn't as awkward. She could feel the comfort and need emanating from the scout behind her.

It felt almost nice. Bumblebee felt warm. Not like the burn of arousal she's coaxed out of his frame before. No, this was gentle, simple, sincere. It almost frightened her. Still she didn't move. It wasn't worth it, not when the numbing warmth was flowing into her body, relaxing her, calming her.

She should leave. She should kill this poison filling her, weakening her. But that would mean moving away from the scout cradling himself against her back.

Well, as Barricade used to say she was a hedonist.

"Do you want me?" she whispered.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I can't promise to be kind or gentle. I'll probably hurt you…but you won't be lonely." She turned her head to look at the scout through her peripheral vision. "Do you still want me?"

_Use me as you will._ _Pull my strings just for a thrill_

_And I know I'll be okay, though my skies are turning gray_

A bitter smile spread across her face as Bee continued to play the song. The irony was tragic. "You may live to regret this." She told the naïve mech.

The arms around her tightened. "I won't." Bee forced out, voice filled with static.

"You will." She replied activating her own speakers.

_You've got to fight just to make it through_

_Cause I will be the death of you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs used were: When You're Evil by Voltair   
>  Your Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  
>  Breath by Breaking Benjamin


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: more angsty prowl

****

It was dark in her room. She didn't care about light and Bumblebee didn't seem to mind, so it was fine. Actually it was more than fine just as long as she could lie on Bee while he massaged her doorwings. She couldn't remember the last time someone had touched her like this. The scout's ministrations were turning her into a puddle of purring goo.

Bumblebee chuckled as the femme began to purr. They had been in her room for a couple days now. When they returned to base a couple days prior, he had went to the rec room to collect energon while she commed Jazz to tell the silver mech where they would be. Bee had only gotten enough energon to last them through the first night and the morning after. Good thing Jazz had been leaving energon outside the door for them.

He would probably have to talk to Jazz soon Bumblebee mused. He had a feeling Jazz wasn't too happy with this new development in his nonexistent love life and feel the need to lecture him about it. It would probably be over all the risks of being involved with someone like Ashfire. If one focused on the fact that she was an ex-Con, then yeah it wasn't a great idea, but he didn't care. He wanted this, wanted her.

A few more minutes passed before the silence was broken. "What time is it?" the femme murmured.

"Around four," Bee answered. "Why?"

"Hmmmm… Prowl will be back from his trip soon."

Bumblebee froze at the femme's sleepy reply. Prowl was coming back today?

"Shit."Bee cursed as he leaned his head on the wall. If Prowl were to walk in right now… no it would be okay. Prowl was a reasonable mech. He wouldn't hurt him. Even if he was in Ashfire's room…in the dark…on her berth…with her sprawled on top of him…as he touched her doorwings. Bumblebee groaned again. He was so dead.

The femme arched an optic ridge at him. "What are you upset for? Prowl isn't here yet and even if he has, it's not like we've actually done anything."

"Yeah, but Prowl doesn't know that" Bee replied. "What would we do if he thought I took advantage of you while he was gone?"

Ashfire had to laugh at the absurdity that just spewed from the mech's mouth. "You take advantage of me? Oh no…lil' Bee" she purred as she leaned up to look him in the optics. "I think he'll be more concerned about me taking advantage of you."

"But you're not. I asked…"

"I know" she said. "But how many will see it that way?"

Bumblebee felt his doorwings droop a little. She was right. Most people would assume she was using him.

"Ashfire..." He didn't know what to say and he never found out. The door suddenly opened with a _snick_ to reveal Jazz.

"Prowler and Optimus are on their way to base," he said. "They'll be here in ten minutes."

"Alright, we're coming," The femme mumbled, reluctant to leave her stupor. "Come on lil' Bee, let's go say hi to Prowl."

* * *

Optimus and Prowl rolled off the plane into the hangar, followed by a red Ferrari. The trip to Washington had been tiresome, but rewarding. Optimus' spark rejoiced every time a fellow Autobot managed to find them on Earth. Of course, the Prime would have been happy if he wasn't cussed at by the prime minister of Italy about 'runaway and flippant robots'.

Primus give him a break, he had no idea an Autobot made planet fall into Italy. But that was neither here nor there. What mattered was that Dino had been found and he was now joining the Autobots on Earth.

Once all three Autobots were in the hangar, they started their transformation sequences. No one was surprised that Jazz jumped Prowl the moment the Praxian was in bipedal mode. Despite the laughter of the soldiers and the chuckling of the Autobots, Prowl didn't relax until he caught the gaze of his creation.

She flicked her wings in welcome. Prowl felt a flash of annoyance when he noticed how Bumblebee hovered behind the femme.

**: Easy love:** Jazz crooned. **: Bumblebee means no harm. Truthfully, I'm more worried about her doin' somethin' to Bee:**

**: She won't harm him:**

**: Are ya sure about that? :**

Prowl had no answer. Prowl's thoughts were interrupted by the rumble of Optimus' voice. "Sir?"

"We'll debrief in the morning. Go spend some time with your family."

Prowl felt and saw the way Jazz and Ashfire's frames tensed in surprise from the Prime's statement.

A family? Jazz was his mate and the white femme his creation and yet Prowl had never thought of them as a family, he would have considered himself lucky if Ashfire and Jazz would get along, but now the thought had been placed in his mind. Yes, a family. Prowl glanced at his mate to his creation and back to his mate. If they could be a family that would be…it would be a blessing from Primus himself. It was going to be an uphill battle getting there, and getting Jazz and Ashfire to accept each other but it would be worth it.

He could feel it.

* * *

**He looked through the viewing glass into the interrogation room. In the room he could see Soundwave prepare for the training session his creation was about to go through. Usually he would be the one in charge of her training, but sadly there were just some things he could not do and hacking his creation was one of them.**

**T** **oday, as part of her training she would feel what it's like to have another mech inside her mind. She would feel what it's like to be hacked.**

**He shuddered at the thought. Sympathy filled his spark for the young femme being strapped down to the table inside the room. He couldn't bring himself to hack his creation. Everything inside him that made him a creator rebelled against the idea. That's why Soundwave was doing it. He could be trusted to be careful with her. He'd give her a taste of what it was like to be hacked and then leave her mind. He wouldn't leave her damaged.**

**Well, no permanent damage.**

**Dread filled his tanks when the last cuff was fastened to his youngling. Soundwave was about to begin. Her head turned to him, for a brief second he could see her fear. She was nervous and seeking his reassurance. He gave it to her gladly, warily, using his doorwings to ease her fears.**

**Soundwave finished his preparations. He watched as Soundwave stood next to the youngling's head and rumbled a few words to her. He couldn't hear what the telepath said, he didn't need to. Knowing the large mech, he was probably telling her what he would do, how he would do it, and that he would be gentle.**

**He felt himself tense as Soundwave released a tentacle and brought it close to her head. For a brief moment he locked gazes with the larger mech. He thought he saw something flash across the telepath's features. He thought he saw…regret.**

**Soundwave looked away and plugged into her systems.**

**She screamed.**

Prowl shot up in the berth, jarring Jazz from his slumber. Prowl put his face in his hands as his fans whirred on in his distress, his frame trembling.

"Shh, it's alright, Prowler." Jazz cooed, wrapping his arms around his mate's waist.

"I'm fine Jazz, really. Just…just talk to me for a while." Prowl murmured, pulling his bondmate closer as he leaned back. Prowl laid there losing himself in the calming sea of Jazz's voice as Jazz told him about anything, everything he could think of; the weather, the humans, music, pranks, Ashfire…

"So you did manage to get along," Prowl mused, relief flooding his field and love filling the bond. "Thank you, love." Prowl was beyond pleased that the two got along in his absence. They weren't on friendly terms yet, but they were now closer than they were when they first met.

"Ya don't have to thank me Prowler," Jazz replied. "Try to get some recharge."

With a hum, Prowl slowly powered his systems down, hoping that would be no more nightmares for this night.

* * *

It was early the next day when Ashfire found herself walking beside Prowl. Something was wrong. He was too tense, too quiet, his field drawn in. She kept silent, watching her creator for any hint of violence.

When Barricade was furious he would go silent and she had reason to fear her creator's wrath. She still had scars to prove that Barricade was not a mech to be trifled with. She was confident that Prowl wouldn't be as tough with punishment as Barricade was, but it never hurt to be cautious.

Soon they were in front of Prowl's office, she watched with mild confusion as Prowl punched in the code and entered. Wasn't he supposed to meet with Prime?

Despite the thought, she followed him in and went to her corner where she found a new box of rubix cubes to fiddle with. She sat in her chair and reached for the box, however her gaze flickered to Prowl. The older mech was standing in front of his desk, his palms pressed flat against the surface, his wings trembling. The femme's optics narrowed.

Was Prowl in another memory lapse?

**He hurried down the corridor, the blare of the alarms echoing throughout the halls. The Autobots had broken through and the base compromised. He had to move quickly, there was no doubt that if the Autobots discovered his sparkling they'd terminate her.**

She inched her way to Prowl. The trembling in his doorwings had worsened. His whole body began to shake. A brief moment of concern entered her before she could kill it.

**The sparkling chirped at him, clearly confused on what was going on. He shushed her by sending calming pulses to her. They were close to the exit. His doorwings flared, the sensors picking up the fight up ahead. He stopped at the corner, listening to the bang of gunfire and cries of injured mecha. Damn.**

This was bad. She had called Prowl's name to no avail. He was unresponsive. Reaching out with her field she stayed several feet away from her creator, unsure of how he would react. She could feel the turmoil and fear in Prowl's field. Despite the contact the tactician stayed unresponsive.

"Prowl," she called, once again trying to gain his attention.

**He clutched the sparkling closer to his chest. She squeaked in response and began to wiggle to escape the tightening grip. She started to click in irritation. "Hush, little one," He whispered. "There's danger ahead. I need you to remain silent."**

**The sparkling looked at him with wide, trusting optics and gave him a quiet beep of acceptance. He took a moment to brace himself before plunging into the chaos around the corner.**

"Creator," Ashfire murmured, laying her palm on Prowl's shoulder. Prowl flinched, the touch bringing him back to reality. He turned to his creation, now much older than the version he just saw.

"Ashfire," he whispered. He reached out, quickly pulling the femme against his chest. Even though he knew that the memory was just that a memory, his could feel his spark's need to reassure himself that she was safe.

The femme tensed as she was held against her creator. She had thought she'd never be embraced like this again. She could only list a handful of times Barricade had held her with the desperation Prowl was showing.

Prowl continued to quiver as he held his creation. "You're safe," he began to whisper. "You're safe, you're safe." Over and over, the words filled the silence of the office.

Ashfire merged her EM field around Prowl's trying to offer him some comfort. She brought her arms up and loosely held Prowl as he went on with his mantra. Her grip tightened as Prowl gently murmured _her_ name.

Her _true_ name.

She continued to hold the tactician as he kept up the murmuring, doing her best to comfort the mech, ignoring the ache of her spark breaking.

Once upon a time, it was impossible to imagine her creator breaking down. But that was when he was Barricade. The mech in her arms was Prowl. And all she could do was watch and listen and hold onto him until he could regain his composure.


	17. Chapter 17

Bumblebee sat in Prowl's office, optics intent on the white form pacing restlessly. She had been like this since he walked in about fifteen minutes ago. He had tried to get the femme's attention, but when he failed to gain a response, the scout thought it might be best to let Ashfire work off her anxiety.  
  
Ashfire continued to pace back and forth in Prowl's office. The tactician had left once he regained his composure. Before leaving, Prowl had apologized to her for the incident and thanked her for her support. He informed her that Bumblebee would watch her and then was gone.  
  
She had remained silent as she played witness to Prowl's weakness. She could still feel her tanks churning from the ache of Prowl's breakdown and his apology. Even now with Bumblebee in the room, she felt ill.  
  
"Ashfire," Bumblebee said, not able to stand the femme's strange behavior. "What's wrong? You seem disturbed."  
  
Disturbed? Yes, she was disturbed. Her creator just had a breakdown in her arms. How was she supposed to deal with that?  
  
"Ashfire, what happened?" Bee asked, stepping close to the femme. "You're trembling."  
  
She stopped her pacing when Bee stepped in front of her. She considered the yellow mech for a moment. She wanted, needed to forget what just transpired. She didn't know how to deal with things like that. However, her usual means of distraction such as high grade and drugs weren't at her disposal. But Bumblebee could provide an alternative means of coping.  
  
She pressed herself against Bee and ran her hands down his chassis. "Distract me," she whispered, her mind still full of Prowl's broken words. "I don't want to think anymore."  
  
Bumblebee shuddered as her hands and field worked against him. He could feel her need and desperation. Bee knew Ashfire was searching for an escape in physical intimacy. For a brief moment he wanted to fall to her demand as his arousal rose. He probably would have too, if he didn't feel her anxiety.  
  
"Ashfire, stop," Bumblebee said. He grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands off his frame and cradling them between their bodies.  
  
"Why?" the femme asked. "I need this right now. Don't you want me?"  
  
"I do want you, but not like this."  
  
"Why not?" The white femme snapped, jerking her hands back. "A frag's a frag."  
  
"Ashfire, this isn't about 'facing," Bumblebee said, trying to soothe the femme. "You're hurting. I don't want to do it now and have one of us regret it later."  
  
"So you think you'll regret 'facing with a dirty Con, huh?"  
  
"No, it's not like that! I don't want to interface now 'cause you're not okay and I don't want you to feel used later."  
  
The femme stood silent for a few moments. Bee's words gave her a touch of warmth. However, they weren't a balm for her already twisted and uncertain state of mind. They only made her uneasiness worse.  
  
"Bee, I've been used since the day I was born." With those words the femme left the room.  
   
 

* * *

  
   
The troubled femme wandered the halls, lost in her head. She wanted a place to hide and forget the benign hell that was her life. Her life had become an emotional roller coaster, chipping away at her defenses, forcing her to consider things she had locked away and ignored. Frankly, she was exhausted the experience.  
  
Because the more time she spent with Bumblebee and Prowl, the more her walls crumbled. She didn't like it. It left her feeling vulnerable. She could almost hear Barricade calling her a foolish child. Her fancies would be the end of her if she couldn't control herself.  
  
She needed to sever her attachments before their claws sunk in too deep. She could survive on her own. With humans advancing their technology it wouldn't be hard to get what she'd need, but….  
  
She didn't want to leave.  
  
She paused when the realization hit her. She didn't want to leave. Despite the confusion and doubt, she wanted to stay. Ashfire could feel her doorwings trembling. Where was Barricade when she needed him?  
  
A muffled moan caught Ashfire's attention. Deciding curiosity was better than misery, she crept towards the end of the hall. Peeping around the corner she saw three mechs. She recognized the silver and blue forms of Sideswipe and Jolt; however she'd never seen the red mech before.  
  
She watched as Sideswipe pinned the red mech to the wall, the two in a furious lip lock, while Jolt kneeled before the stranger to tease his interface array.  
  
Anger filled her as the scene reminded her of Bumblebee's rejection. How dare he say no to her? He had asked her, begged her to stay and when she offered herself to him, he refused her. What kind of slag is that?! She felt a growl building in her throat. Then there was a hand on her shoulder. Whirling around, she was met with the concerned gaze of Prowl.  
  
"Ashfire," Prowl said. "Are you all right?"  
  
She shifted her weight one foot to another as Jazz came up to stand beside Prowl. Bad enough that she was feeling like slag, but now Prowl's mate was here. "I'm fine," she said, forcing a calm tone in her voice.  
  
Prowl frowned. He could feel the unsteadiness of her field. She was upset and he wanted to comfort her.  
  
Jazz was frowning as well. Bumblebee was rarely away from the femme, yet here she was in the hallway by herself, her field screaming emotional distress. "Where's Bumblebee?" Jazz asked.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What happened?" Prowl questioned, reaching out with his field to ease her distress. The tactician watched as the femme shifted again clearly uncomfortable.  
  
"Nothing," she replied.  
  
"Ashfire…"  
  
"I'm going to go to my room," she said, moving past Prowl and Jazz to hopefully find sanctuary in her quarters.  
   
 

* * *

  
   
Prowl stared at the retreating form of his creation. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Perhaps he should…  
  
Jazz grabbed Prowl's wrist. "Prowl don't."  
  
Prowl looked at Jazz with wide optics. "You're kidding me."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"But Jazz…"  
  
"Prowler," Jazz crooned. "It's okay. She's just upset right now and it was obvious she was uncomfortable when you asked what happened. She's a big girl. Give her some space and she'll talk when she's ready."  
  
Prowl looked torn between listening to his mate and going after his child. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Positive."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
Jazz grinned. "She may be an ex-Con but she's still a younglin'. Bee's the same way."  
  
A small smile appeared on Prowl's face. Jazz was still not fond of his creation but….he was trying.  
   
 

* * *

  
   
It was night when Bumblebee began his search for Ashfire. He thought that the femme wanted time to herself, so he had left her alone to cool down. Bumblebee knew that Ashfire would be in one of three places: her room, the med-bay, or the ocean.  
  
He crossed the med-bay off the list since Ratchet was off duty. The only time Ratchet was off duty was when the neon mech was recharging and woe to those who dared to wake Ratchet from his well earned sleep. That meant that Ashfire was either in her room or at the ocean. After thinking about it, Bumblebee decided it would be easiest to check Ashfire's room first.  
  
With that thought, the scout made his way to the femme's quarters.  
  
Bumblebee opened the door to Ashfire's quarters and was surprised to find the femme there. She was lying on her berth, facing the wall. Bumblebee watched her doorwings twitch. She knew he was here.  
  
The femme heard the door open and looked to see who had opened it. She hissed when she saw the scout. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Checking on you," Bumblebee answered, moving closer to the berth.  
  
Ashfire snorted as she sat up to face to face the scout. "What for?" she asked.  
  
"You were upset." Bumblebee's field reached out towards the femme as he kneeled before her. Her field was a turmoil of emotion. There was confusion, doubt, hurt. All Bumblebee wanted was to be able to comfort her.  
  
Ashfire glared at the insolent mech. First he rejected her and then decided that he should come to her and save her from her misery? Slag that.  
  
"I don't need you," Ashfire said, venom in her words. She said it with the intention to wound and felt a flare of sadistic glee when she saw the words hit home.  
  
Bumblebee couldn't hide the hurt in his field, but with his field so close to Ashfire's he could tell she didn't truly mean it and told her so. "You don't mean that. Besides that's not what you said in Prowl's office."  
  
Ashfire's optics flashed in hurt and anger. "That was before you turned me down," the femme snapped, her doorwings arching into a V behind her. "And don't give me that crap about how you didn't want to take advantage of me.  
  
Bumblebee hummed a soothing note to the now agitated femme. He melded his field with Ashfire's to make her feel his honesty. "Ashfire, I do want you," Bumblebee said, his voice and field earnest. "But I don't want to frag you."  
  
The femme's optics flared with fury. She launched herself off the berth, tackling Bumblebee.  
  
Bumblebee grunted when his back hit the ground. Bee knew he had to find a way to restrain the femme, or she wouldn't listen to him. When Ashfire raised her fist to strike him, the scout saw his chance. He rolled. Bumblebee used the femme's surprise to quickly grab her wrists, forcing them over her head and effectively pinning her.  
  
The femme growled as she tried to twist away from Bumblebee.  
  
"Ashfire please listen," Bumblebee pleaded, tightening his grip on the femme. "I don't want to frag you. What I want is to make love to you."  
  
At first, the femme was still. But as the meaning of Bee's words sunk in, she began to tremble. He didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it, but it was hard to ignore the sincerity of his field.  
  
"Don't Bee," she whispered. "Don't save me. Don't even try." She looked away unable to meet his gaze. "I'll hurt you. I'll hurt you and everyone around you."  
  
"You keep saying that. You haven't hurt me yet."  
  
She snorted. "So? That doesn't mean that I won't."  
  
"Doesn't mean that you will either," Bee countered. "You know, by trying to push me away, you're only showing me how much you care."  
  
"Stop trying to understand me."  
  
"I don't want to," Bumblebee said. He leant forward, pressing his forehead against the femme's, forcing her optics to look into his. "I want you. And nothing you say will change my mind."


	18. chapter 18

It was dawn when Ashfire roused herself from recharge. She was pleased with the sight of Bumblebee under her and was content to bask in the warmth his chassis and field provided. As she lay there, she started to think about the night before.

It felt incredibly good and disturbing to know that Bumblebee cared so much for her. She wanted to be close to Prowl. She wanted to be here with Bumblebee, but how could she? The Autobots were content to linger on Earth and live with the humans, but if she were honest with herself, she wasn’t.

She wanted to go back to Cybertron. She never saw Cybertron before the war, but she remembered all the stories Barricade and Soundwave told her about the Cybertron they loved, what they wanted to preserve. She also remembered all the hopes and dreams Deadlock had for Cybertron and that is what she wanted as well. A healthy, living Cybertron for her and her descendents; a planet full of the splendor it carried during the Golden Age, but without all the rot that had poisoned the mecha living on it.

Wasn’t that something worth fighting for? And yet, the Autobots weren’t. They weren’t doing anything to help Cybertron or its people. They were too busy babysitting the humans to worry about their planet. And even if they did care, she still had no real place among them; no purpose.

The Autobots currently had no use for her skill set and the only other thing she could do and found enjoyable was training younglings, but there were no younglings; at least no younglings inside this faction.

A low fuel warning flashed in the femme’s HUD. Pulling herself from her melancholy, Ashfire eased away from Bumblebee. It’d be awhile before Bumblebee woke up so it’d best if she went to get some energon. And since she was getting up, she might as well get some for the scout as well.

Standing by the berth, she stretched, popping several joints and letting her armor flare. When her armor settled, she walked towards the door. Halfway through the door Ashfire paused. Looking over her shoulder, she stared at the recharging mech on her berth. After a few moments she left.

In order for her to get to the rec. room, the femme had to pass by the training room. As she came close to it, she heard the unmistakable sound of blades ringing. Curious, Ashfire stopped outside the training room door.

Since she wasn’t supposed to wander the base by herself, it would be wise for her to finish her energon run as quietly and discreetly as possible. However there weren’t many Autobots who liked to fight with blades and the temptation to see who the combatants were was strong.

Silent as a shadow, the white femme opened the door and peered into the room. The two mechs sparring were Sideswipe and the red mech Ashfire had seen with him yesterday.

Now this was intriguing. It wouldn’t hurt her to spend a few minutes watching the mechs spar.

Ashfire watched the two mechs circle each other. She was already familiar with Sideswipe’s fighting style so she focused on the red mech. After a few moments of watching the strange mech, it became obvious to her that while the mech could hold his own in a fight, he favored stealth.

Now that was interesting; a Spec Ops mech here, on earth? That could be….entertaining, or dangerous, or both. Perhaps she should mention this to Prowl…

“What are you doing out here?” a high pitched voice snapped.

Ashfire glanced over her shoulder to glare at the blue and purple Arcees. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

The blue Arcee flared her armor while her purple counterpart gave the white femme a cool look. “You shouldn’t be in the halls unsupervised.”

The femme snorted. “So what are you going to do, report me?”

“Not if you tell me, what you were doing out here”, the purple Arcee replied.

“I’m obviously watching the match.” Ashfire replied her mood now soured with annoyance.

“Yes,” the purple Arcee said. “But that’s not the reason you came out. What were you originally doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” the blue femme snapped. “Seducing Bumblebee wasn’t enough for her, so now she’s gotta ruin the rest of our mechs.”

Ashfire’s wings arched high in anger. How dare she… “I didn’t seduce Bumblebee and I haven’t ruined him. There’s nothing wrong with him.”

“Of course there’s something wrong with him,” Arcee snapped as she pointed a finger at Ashfire. “You’re what’s wrong with him.”

Engine revving, Ashfire felt her mind go blank. The next thing she knew there was a body behind hers, holding her back from the the Arcees. Glancing behind her shoulder, she was surprised to see the red mech holding her.

“Now, now, there’s no need for violence here.”

Ashfire hissed as she tried to free herself from the stranger’s hold.

“She started it!” the blue Arcee hissed, ignoring her counterpart’s attempts to pull her away. “I have half a mind to report her to Prime.”

“If you did that you would have to tell everyone the reason why you were provoking her.”

The violent Arcee spluttered, her armor rising in indignation. Her more peaceful sister shushed her. “Sister, let’s go. There’s no need to make a scene.”

“But she-“

“Enough. Sister is waiting for us. Let’s go.” The purple Arcee began to push her counterpart down the hall and away from Ashfire.

Ashfire felt a growl bubbling in her throat, but her doorwings gave a twitch as another EM field came close.

“Well, that was interesting.” Sideswipe said as he rolled out of the training room. “I think it’s safe to let her go now.”

“You’re right.” Then and only then did the red mech release Ashfire.

Sideswipe looked at his companion, completely ignoring the angry femme with them. “Do you want to find Jolt and see what fun we can get into?”

The red mech shook his head. “I think it’d be best if I acted as our guest’s escort-

“I don’t need an escort,” Ashfire interrupted.

“…so there are no other issues with the other Autobots,” the mech finished.

Sideswipe shrugged. “Suit yourself. Come find me later.” The silver warrior then left to find some other mischief.

Ashfire watched Sideswipe leave before turning to growl at the stranger. “I don’t need you to babysit me.”

The stranger just arched an optic ridge. “I was told that you were not allowed to wander the base by yourself. It would be irresponsible of me to leave you alone; especially when it is obvious that if you are left unattended you would end up in trouble.”

Ashfire growled at him.

“So I will escort you and no amount of growling will change my mind.”

Ashfire glared at the red mech. The mech paid no attention to the femme’s ire and with a motion of his hand he said, “After you.”

Huffing, Ashfire continued her trek to the rec. room, doorwings twitching irritably as the red mech fell in step. The pair walked in silence. It wasn’t until they had entered the rec. room and Ashfire had begun to fill a cube from the dispenser, that the mech said a word. “You know, I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

The femme gave the mech a side glance. “Really; I apologize for my thoughtfulness.”

The mech made a _tsk_. “Sarcasm is so unbecoming of you, or at least it would be if you were still in Senator Ratbat’s company.”

Cold enveloped the femme. Wearily she faced the red mech, giving him her full attention. “Have we met before?” she asked, her tone low.

“No,” the mech replied his voice quiet as well. “But I used to see you quite a bit. Ratbat enjoyed showing you off.”

“That he did.” Ashfire turned back towards the dispenser to fill a second cube. As she filled the cube, she studied the mech with her peripheral vision. She thought back to her days as Ratbat’s ‘pet’ and tried to place the red mech. She couldn’t picture the mech specifically, but she did remember seeing another mech that had a similar build as him.

Only that mech was blue and white…

“Were you an Autobot back then…?”

“Dino,” the red mech replied. “And no, I just happened to be with the ‘in’ crowd at the time.”

“Ah.” The femme filled a third cube. “You may call me Ashfire, if you wish.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Ashfire,” Dino said as he caught her gaze and held it. “Mecha like us are a rare breed.”

Her optics brightened with understanding. She and Dino _were_ two of a kind. His statement had confirmed her suspicion that he was Spec Ops. Not many mecha could do the things they were trained to do; very few mecha had the strength and will to become what they were to fulfill their purpose.

“We are,” Ashfire agreed. She left the rec. room, Dino in step with her.

Dino escorted the femme back to her room. When they reached her door, Dino faced her. “It was nice talking with you. If you’re ever in need of company, come find me,” he said, the red mech took his leave.

Ashfire watched Dino until he was out of sight. While the femme was actually pleased to have met Dino, she felt a little off balance. Once again, her world had shifted and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not.

Suddenly feeling exhausted the white femme entered her room, wanting nothing more than to cuddle with Bumblebee until she had to face reality again.

                                                                                                

* * *

 

**He limped to the command center. His mission had been successful; however he had been ambushed on the way back to base. He knew he should go to the medbay, but he had to see the sparkling. He had left her with Soundwave. He trusted the communications officer, but he had to be sure that she was safe.**

**He entered the command center and was… disturbingly pleased. Soundwave was cradling the small femme as he crooned an old and almost forgotten lullaby. He leaned against the door frame, listening as the song soothed his spark.**

**Eventually, the song came to an end and Soundwave took his attention off the recharging sparkling and turned it towards him. “Barricade: should go to medbay,” the larger mech rumbled. “Little one: safe with me.”**

**They held each others’ optics for a moment, one infinite moment. Then he whispered, “Thank you.”**

Ice blue optics slowly came online. Prowl was comforted by the sight of Jazz still curled on his chest; exactly like he had been when Prowl went into recharge. Prowl stroked Jazz’s finial, optics on the ceiling, thinking of Soundwave. There was no doubt that Barricade owed, _he_ owed the telepath.

Ever since Barricade realized he was carrying, Soundwave had been there. The communications officer had helped Barricade through his gestation period and built the frame that housed Ashfire’s spark. Soundwave had been there to watch over Ashfire when Barricade was away. He was the one that educated her.

If Soundwave hadn’t been there…

Prowl huffed. It was a shame that he couldn’t repay Soundwave for all that he’d done.


End file.
